


After Effects

by Aliemah



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Cute, F/M, Family, First Kiss, Fluff, Kissing, Pregnancy, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:25:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aliemah/pseuds/Aliemah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Shepard have been skirting around each other long enough, but it seems that even during a party they can't seem to confront what's right in front of them. And when Jane finds out she got a little more out of the party than she'd thought, she and James decide to figure things out between them. EDIT: I've decided to turn this into a full-fledged story. Stay tuned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prequel - Part 1

“Had enough to drink yet?” she grinned as she sat next to him. She was entirely meaning to tease, but Jane was well aware of how creepy she’d come off over the past few days. James hadn’t seemed to mind it terribly, and she did give him plenty of room to tell her to back off.

“I think I might need another drink or two before it sounds like a good idea.” he said, face a little flushed from all the drinks he’d had already.

Or maybe it was because she knew the thought of being with her was absolutely one of his fantasies. Either way, Jane suddenly had an idea, and stood up. She reached out in front of him for his hand. This would either ease his nerves, and they could actually take this slowly, and have it be something they both wanted, or it would be a complete disaster and they would both wake up tomorrow morning with the worst hangover known to man.

He looked at her hand, then up to her eyes. He must have decided the risk was worth it, because he took her hand and pulled himself up. Though, he dropped his hand the second he was up. She didn’t pay much mind to it, and walked with him back towards the office. Luckily, it was empty, now that Tali had found somewhere else to sit.

“Why are we back here?”

“I thought I’d teach you something before you go to N7 school.” she smiled. “Might help you along.”

“Shepard, if I’m going through it, I want to do things on my own-”

“You’ll learn it one way or another, James. Just let me do this one thing for you.” she knew she was putting on her best puppy face right now, and that it didn’t always have the desired result. But it seemed like right now it was working because James sighed and shrugged his shoulders with a smile.

“I guess I can’t stop you.”

“That’s right. Now take up a defensive stance.” she said, pulling her hair back quickly.

“Lola, are you going to teach me how to fight? I know how to do that.”

“You don’t know how to defend yourself too well. Or do I need to remind you of the huge bruise on your back from our last sparring session?” she smiled apologetically as she came back over, taking her own stance as well.

“I know how to defend myself!” he laughed, easily blocking a left hook from her. She was going to let him warm up a bit, and she took a few more easy shots, managing to hit him once.

“But you have to keep yourself from destroying the room.” she grinned, shifting her weight to her back foot, turning, and quickly bring her foot up and around, hitting him in the shoulder, instead of the head, with speed that he likely hadn’t expected from her. Though before her foot could drop, James grabbed it, lifted her leg even higher, and then twisted her leg, forcing her body to turn in compensation.

Jane leaned down on her hands just as quick as he’d turned her around, bringing her other leg up to kick him square in the chest. She managed to get him to loosen his hold on her enough so she could stand back up. She faced James and came at him again before he could recover, landing several blows to his torso, and getting in a few kicks to his sides. After that, she paused, letting him catch his breath against the bookcase he’d been backed into.

“You’re cornered, James.” she panted, grinning. Though she didn’t realize just how sultry her voice had come off from the exertion and exhaustion. “I don’t think that quite qualifies as knowing how to defend yourself.”

“I don’t know why I expected you to go easy on me.” he stood up straight once he caught his breath. Jane looked in his eyes as they backed into the center of the room again, unable to help herself. She loved looking in his dark brown eyes, admiring how they changed with the light. Right now, they looked like black holes, and she couldn’t resist their pull.

“Again.” she said, still lost in his eyes as she began throwing punches and kicks at him. His eyes locked on hers, and she shuddered when he caught her hand, twisting it up behind her back as he used her momentum against her. As much as she wanted to let the words slip from her tongue, she couldn’t hold back just yet. She had a real reason for this - James wasn’t always going to be expecting a fight, he had to be able to handle himself. She kicked his shin and he grunted, but instead of letting the pain overwhelm him, he tightened his grip and pushed her forward onto the desk. Her cheek and chest pressed against the dark oak, and Jane wasn’t usually one for rough foreplay or sex, but she couldn’t deny that his show of power was definitely making it harder for her to resist him. She kept her mouth shut, though she closed her eyes, and let out a rather loud laugh, more at herself than anything.

“What?” James asked, still keeping a grip on her, but definitely loosening it.

“You just ought to be careful, James. I don’t want you breaking my face, I need it.” she opened her eyes and looked up at him with a devilish grin on her face, this time. She felt James remove his hand from her wrists, and she saw him smile a bit.

“Can’t have you breaking your pretty face.” he said almost under his breath, gently helping her back up. But the fact that he’d said anything gave her some hope that she wasn’t just forcing him to go along with this. God, she hoped he didn’t feel like this was something he had to do.

James was smarter than that, too.

“Glad we can agree on that.” she finally said, looking up at him and still grinning, though it had softened. His chest was still rising and falling at a faster than normal pace, and she had a hard time ignoring it since she was just inches from him.

“You still need to work on covering your body-”

“Shepard!” Garrus came into the room and both snapped their heads to look at him. Garrus was looking like he was about to collapse, but he laughed as he clung to the wall for a moment before continuing, “Wrex and Grunt are going at it, I think you might want to come stop them before they break something.”

“Oh god, they didn’t already break something, did they?.” she quickly turned to go break up the fight, not even thinking to tell James she would catch up with him once she was done.

\---------------

A few hours later, it seemed like everyone was either falling asleep, straight up passing out, or just appreciating that it was beginning to quiet down some. Jane was up above, looking down at the split living area with a grin as she leaned on the railing with a cup of water in her hand. She felt ready to sleep, too, but she wanted to make sure she wasn’t needed for anything first.

She hated that her first instinct was a motherly one. They were all adults - well, Grunt was still considered a child in some aspects, but he was well off nonetheless - they could take care of themselves. She should let herself get some sleep while she still could.

“Lola,” a gruff voice came from behind her, “you look ready to fall asleep.”

“I’m getting pretty close, that bed looks comfy.” she laughed lightly, pushing off the railing, keeping her voice down so she wouldn’t disturb anyone else. “Did you need something?”

After the stunt Grunt and Wrex pulled, she’d almost all but forgotten her attempts to woo James. He was clearly interested, but it seemed like he needed a little more time with her.

“I was just thinking that… You showed me something earlier, so I thought I could show you something now. I-If you want.”

James didn’t normally stutter, but judging by the way he was rubbing his neck, and the slight pink creeping up it, she could tell this wasn’t just the usual ‘let me show you something,’ and that caught her interest.

“I’d love that.” she relied softly, giving him a tired smile. “As long as it won’t take too much energy from me.”

“I doubt it.” he smiled, actually reaching to take her hand, pulling her further into the upstairs rooms, searching for an empty one before closing the door quietly. Jane was excited and admittedly a bit nervous for what he had in store. He led her to the foot of the bed and had her sit down and close her eyes. With a grin, she nodded and shut her eyes. The bed shifted behind her for a few moments, before she heard shuffling in front of her.

Jane was then picked up by the waist, and plopped down between a pair of legs, with a firm, warm chest behind her. When told, she opened her eyes, and tried her best to keep from laughing.

“We are not watching this, James!”

“Why not?” he laughed, already holding the remote for the vid screen just across from the bed, finger hovering over the play button.

“I don’t think you realize how tired I am, James.” she laughed, letting herself settle against him since he’d decided he was comfortable with this. As much as she loved the third remake of How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, it was a bit too much of an emotional investment for her. She also hadn’t expected him to pick this.

“Well then we can watch as much as you want before you sleep.” he grinned, pressing play. Jane laughed, and settled in to watch the movie, surprised at how much James seemed to enjoy it as well. She never would have pegged him as the type to enjoy a good RomCom.

Soon enough, she felt herself drifting to sleep half way through the movie. Jane, of course, didn’t remember falling asleep, but she knew that she’d done so on top of James, making it more than difficult for him to move and go find a spot of his own to sleep.

\--------------

Her head felt as if it was going to throb itself off her neck, when she finally woke up. Though, the solid mass beneath her head was definitely helping her to keep her sense of balance as she opened her eyes. It wasn’t bright in the room, like she’d feared. Rather, it was just dark enough, with light from outside peeking through cracks to gently illuminate the room.

When she was ready, she lifted her head, with some effort, and looked down at what was beneath her. She Jane wasn’t exactly shocked, but she was pleasantly surprised.  
She’d never seen James look so relaxed, and young. All the lines on his face were gone, and Jane hummed happily as she let her finger gently trail over his full lips, and along his stubbled jaw. Though, she quickly retracted her hand when she remembered that she and James had really only fallen asleep together. At least that’s what she remembered - and they were still clothed.

Then James stirred, and she panicked slightly, but then remembered that the only reason they were here was because of him. He’d knowingly and willingly sought her out for her company, and he could have left at any point. She lowered her head to his chest with a soft sigh, trying to calm her pounding heart.

“Lola?” his voice was thick with sleep, and his usually subtle accent. She didn’t realize that both of his arms had been resting on her back until he pulled one away to rub his eyes.

“Morning.” she smiled once she managed to lift her head again. She then decided to sit up a bit, and move the weight off of him. Except his arm was still around her waist, and she felt it tighten.

“You don’t have to move.” he smirked. “I doubt I’ll ever get the chance to wake up like this again, so I want to enjoy it.”

“James, I don’t think your ego needs any more stroking.” she laughed, relaxing some, “But I’ll stay. You’re comfortable to lay on.”

“Good to know.”

They both sat in silence for a few minutes, spacing out and thinking of different things. At least that’s what they thought. In actuality, both were lying there, wondering if they’d really been misinterpreting their little chats, and the sparring sessions. James swore the one time he’d managed to pin Jane to the ground, he saw something in her eyes - more interest than he’d seen any other time, perhaps. Or maybe it had been shock, like he’d initially thought. Jane could clearly remember the one time some of their flirting had gotten a little out of hand in the lounge on the Normandy, along with their drinking, and she’d let James pull her into his lap on the couch. She’d liked it, and she could tell that he was happy she liked it.

“So do you think anyone else is awake?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know. What time is it?” she sat up a bit to stretch so she could see the alarm clock on the other side of the bed. “Maybe… it’s about 10.” she smiled and settled back down against him, resting her head against his shoulder, this time. “I don’t want to get up, though.”

“What if I do?” his tone was light, like it usually was when he would start pulling out his charms.

“Then you’re just going to have to deal with it.” she hummed with a grin.

“Such torture.”

She could hear the smirk in his voice, and she couldn’t help but laugh. They were being ridiculous, and even if she was enjoying it, Jane was suddenly finding herself wanting just a little something more. She sighed and wrapped both of her arms around his middle, settling in to think about what it was she was craving.

His arms wrapped around her again, and she realized that it was all she’d wanted. James held her so firmly, but she hardly felt trapped. She imagined this feeling was similar to a safety blanket for a child - it felt right, and it was soothing. It wasn’t very often she was held at all, for that matter.

“It’s been a long time since someone’s held me.” she mumbled, still in deep thought.

“All you have to do is ask. If it makes you feel a little better, considering all the shit going on, then it’s the least I can do.” James shrugged. Jane propped herself up again, smiling as she looked down at him.

“It’s good to know someone cares about my well-being.”

“Someone has to look after you. I can’t remember how many times you would have skipped a meal if someone hadn’t invited you to eat.” he smiled, bringing one hand to rest behind his head.

She laughed gently and looked over him. The lines on his face were back, but they were softer, more subtle. The casual nature they were both laying with each other was… intimate, but comfortable. Her legs were sprawled on either side of his, and her elbows were propped up by his shoulders so she could manage to look him in the eye. His hand was also on her back right where it curved, and her shirt bunched up. She could feel it shaking just slightly, almost like he wanted to do something, but was making himself stop.

Jane didn’t know what came over her, but before she knew it her lips were suddenly brushed along James’, her eyes closed and both of them very hesitant. They pulled away before either could really register if it had been pleasant, but they looked at one another in silence before she felt his hand more firmly on her back, and the hand behind his head moved to push himself up on the bed. When he was half-way up their lips met again, far less hesitant and more curious.

They were sitting up, now, and with James holding on to her with his one arm, and both of hers naturally sliding around his shoulders, both were comfortable enough to focus on their lips, and the feeling of being pressed so close to one another willingly. Jane couldn’t remember the last time she’d been kissed by anyone, or had a kiss quite this tender. Her lips moved slowly with his, both of them seeming to remember how it went. James was the first to tentatively brush his tongue along her lips, easily sending a pleased chill down her spine.

For several minutes, at least, they explored each other with tongues, hands, and even some light over the clothes action. Jane pulled herself away when she could feel her willpower slowly slipping away, taking control while she still could. Even though they knew to breathe through their noses, the both sat there catching their breath, looking at each other for a moment before laughing.

“What was that?” he asked, voice rough and low.

“I’m not sure.” she absentmindedly ran her hand up through his hair, though she watched as he shut his eyes with a pleased smile.

“Well, uh… I know that’s something I wanted to do last night, but… Well, we um… we both had a lot to drink, and I didn’t want to… you know…”

“All you have to do is ask.” she smirked, echoing the words he’d said not too long ago. He opened his eyes and grinned at her, gripping her shirt a bit. “And I appreciate that you were thinking of how I might feel in that situation. You can never go wrong with watching a movie and cuddling.” she grinned back at him, now.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Still, I wouldn’t necessarily mind it if you wanted to… do some of the things you wanted to last night, now.”

“Lola!” he laughed, blushing some as he glanced towards the door, then back to her.

“What? We’ve been dodging this long enough, I say let’s see where this goes while we have the time for it.”

“You’re crazy.”

“And?”

“I just might take you up on that offer.” he said with a grin, his hand bunching up her shirt and lifting it up slightly as he leaned in to kiss her again.


	2. Prequel - Part 2

She hadn't sustained any major injuries, miraculously enough. A few broken ribs, a fractured wrist, and forearm, a sprained ankle... Jane was almost convinced there was someone watching over her, keeping her here. Still, it didn't help that she had to go to the hospital to get her injuries looked after, alone.

"Shepard, we'll let you know the moment we make contact. Until then, you're just going to have to sit tight."

Hackett told her the same thing every time she asked. She wished he could at least tell her what they were searching for. It was possible that they were flying manual, what with all the tech that randomly got shorted out. If that were the case, then EDI was likely inactive, or at least reduced to a few basic functions. There was nothing Jane could do, though, except wait.

She wondered how James was doing. She worried about him constantly, ever since she'd opened herself up completely to him. The last thing either of them wanted was to get hurt, so she had to hope that he was doing well. After all, it was all that kept her sane after all these visits with the doctors.

As she walked out of the hospital, no longer in a sling, but still with a cast, Jane had to take a moment to admire all that had been rebuilt of the Citadel. Not that there had been very extensive damage to begin with, but besides the occasionally quick fix with a sheet of metal, most of the Citadel was nearly the same as it had been before it had been damaged - even before the Cerberus coup happened.

She headed to a taxi stand, hoping to go home and get some sleep. Jane still felt weary after even a few hours of walking around. Everyone told her it was just the fatigue from the war finally setting in, but Jane knew it wasn't that. She was tired of having to spend her waking hours anxiously waiting for word about the Normandy. anything, really. And as it happened, right as a taxi pulled up, she saw her omni-tool light up from the corner of her eye. Hopping in, she grinned, and headed for the control tower, where Hackett spent most of his time, these days.

She was hoping this was good news, anyway. All her message had said was 'We've made contact.' Incredibly vague, but that's all she needed. That meant someone was alive.

Minutes later she was walking as fast as her tired legs would allow towards the post that overlooked Alliance vessels. After going up several flights of stairs, seeing as the elevator was being maintenanced, she was slightly out of breath. However, she evened out her breathing by the time she was noticed by Hackett.

"Shepard, glad you got my message. How are you doing today?"

"I'm doing well, sir. Only a couple weeks with this cast, and then I'm practically free." she smiled.

"Glad to hear it. We were only able to communicate with the Normandy for all of five minutes. It sounds like they're running low on supplies, but they are within the Sol system, so we're sending out a small team to help pull them back here to the Citadel."

"And the crew?"

"All accounted for, and very eager to hear back from you."

She sighed and felt her shoulders slump.

"Thank God." she felt his hand on her shoulder, and she grinned up at him.

"We're trying to raise them again, I thought you might like to have the chance to talk to them."

"I would love that very much, sir."

They waited patiently for one of the controllers to establish contact with the Normandy again, which didn't take long at all. Maybe ten minutes.

"Joker?" her voice cracked, grinning as she stared at the holographic interface. There was no video feed, but audio was just as good.

"Shepard? Is that you?" his voice was slightly distorted from the interference of not having a stable connection.

"Yeah it's me." she laughed. "How are you holding up?"

"It's good to hear your voice. We haven't exactly been doing too great, but... God. Hold on, I need to get the rest of the crew up here." the audio cut out, and Jane took a moment to collect herself as they set up the call in the other room so she could have some privacy. Once she sat down in the chair, she heard several voices in the distance, and began laughing, a few tears running down her face.

They were all okay. Her family was okay, and she was going to see them again, soon. She could hold them, and know that, yes, they were really alive, and she wasn't just dreaming.

God, if she was dreaming, she hoped that she woke up soon.

"Lola?"

"Hey James." she grinned, voice faltering just the same as his had.

The last time she'd seen him, he had been covered in blood and dirt, limping after being thrown to the ground from a flying sheet of... something. He hadn't wanted her to leave him, and she hadn't wanted him to leave either, but it was the only way they were going to get through what they needed to. She'd walked up to him just before the Normandy was about to take off, and ignoring that Garrus was supporting James, she quickly threw her arms around his neck, latching their lips together one last time. Jane knew it was cruel to give herself to him that way, but she knew that anything else she might have done would have simply left an aching hole in her chest. Especially if she hadn't gotten to see him again.

What was worse was the fact that they had silently committed themselves to one another, yet because they hadn't talked about it, she didn't know what she needed to do. Once, the morning after her party, they'd made love. It had been one of the only memories that got her through the days when she felt absolutely miserable, and didn't feel like she could do anything. But she did manage to get up on those days, for him, if nothing else.

But she missed just having him around. Even if they weren't sure what they were, they knew that they liked being around each other. James always had something funny to say, or got her to laugh when she felt like crying. It had been awful not being able to talk to anyone for those reasons as well.

"Last we heard you were in the hospital. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just a little banged up." she grinned, still holding back from openly crying.

"Good. I think we're all eager to see you again, once we dock."

"How long?"

"Just a week or so." Joker chimed in. "Maybe sooner if the Alliance sends enough ships."

"I just want everyone to get back safe." she paused, when there was an alert on the interface. Suddenly the video feed picked up, and she grinned, seeing everyone packed into the cockpit. "There you are." she said calmly.

"Hey! We have video!" Joker laughed.

Everyone was clearly worn out, having to take on roles they weren't necessarily used to, and working longer hours as well. But everyone looked well all things considered.

"Hey now, don't go crying on us, Lola." James said with a grin. She rolled her eyes as the tears began to well up, and she shook her head.

"You don't get to tell me what to do, James. I'll cry if I damn well please." she felt one tear slip down her cheek, but it felt good. The crew laughed lightly at her, but no one else said anything. She hadn't let herself cry over her crew for a long time, and now that they were safe she felt like she could let everything out. "God, I'm so glad you're all okay. I've been having the hardest time sleeping, not knowing if you were okay or not."

"Hey now-"

"Joker, it's not that I doubt your abilities, it's just that... Everything got knocked out. Some of it is still knocked out, to be honest. Half the Citadel is under repairs."

Jane stayed on the connection for another few hours, taking the chance to talk to everyone individually, watching as they slowly went back to whatever duties they had to attend to. The video cut out after a while, and the audio didn't last much longer either. She worried a bit, until someone told her that it was likely just a solar flare, or some kind of residue from the blast. Unfortunately, they didn't want to stress the system, so that was the end of her chat.

James is okay. she kept telling herself as she walked from the control tower, back out to grab another taxi. She grinned, anxious to see him, and also curious to know what he'd want to do first, or if he wanted to do anything at all.

There was nothing grand, or spectacular about the Normandy docking on the Citadel. Sure, there were cameras, and a crowd, but they were forced to observe from a distance, allowing Jane some privacy in greeting her crew again. She stood waiting outside the airlock, Hackett some few feet back just for official purposes.

The next ten minutes we agony, waiting for the airlock to attach, then pressurize, and unlock on both ends. As soon as it did, she rushed through, meeting her crew about half way. Those who were able had started running towards her as well. The first person she ran into was Liara, and they caught each other in a tight embrace, shortly being joined by James, Kaidan, Steve, and even Joker. The others were a little further behind, but as everyone came in, they joined in the hug, a few sniffles being heard. For a few minutes they all stood there before pulling apart and laughing, everyone wiping away tears for one reason or another. Though, they all rushed off the first second they could, hoping to greet loved ones, and simply be off the Normandy. Joker moved fairly fast with his braces on, much to Jane's surprise.

"You looked a lot worse last week." James grinned, heading out with her.

"Thanks. Is that what you tell all the girls?"

"No, just the ones I missed." he gently bumped her with his elbow and she bumped him back.

Several were waiting patiently for the two to exit the airlock, everyone immediately being relieved of duty. Those that had been waiting were in need of somewhere temporary to stay, and Jane had more than enough room between both of her apartments. She preferred staying in her smaller one, anyhow.

"Are you going to send me off with the rest of them?" James asked, sounding a little timid in his question.

"I wouldn't mind it if you stayed with me at my place." she shrugged. "I just... didn't know if that was something you were interested in."

"I'd like to spend a little time with you, yeah." he grinned. "Maybe we could finish watching that movie."

"Sounds like a great idea." she smiled and let him throw his arm casually around her shoulders as they walked back towards transportation.

Jane hadn't felt this relaxed for a while. The war was over, her family was back home, and she was getting to spend some quality time with James, hoping to figure out just what they were.

Unfortunately for her, there wasn't much of that, seeing as he quite nearly passed out the second he laid down on the couch. It was sweet, though, since she let him put his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his short hair, appreciating that he clung to her legs as they stretched out along his body.

Jane really wished he'd had more energy, and that they could have talked. She wanted to be with him, in a real relationship, but... It didn't look like that was how things were going to play out. With a soft sigh, she figured that maybe it was just a little too soon for those kinds of thoughts. Time would tell if they would become anything, but she would just be happy to have him back in her life again.


	3. Foundation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months have passed since they've last seen each other. Jane finally calls James with some important news, and deals with the consequences of letting down her mother.

"Hey James."

"Hey Lola. Why you calling me so late?" he looked like he'd just woken up, and she felt a little guilty.

"It's... sort of important."

"Well, out with it." he was wearing that big grin on his face. The cute one. That's what Jane thought, anyway. Damn, she couldn't let herself get distracted now, she needed to tell him what was going on. She'd already spent two hours debating on whether or not she should call him. Her instincts and her ever-so-subtle doctor had told her that she should, for everyone's sake.

Two deep breaths, then a nod. She stared at the orange screen, to the video of the man she was talking to, who seemed anxious to hear what she had to say, his smile fading a little as he waited on her. She'd never been nervous before, and she could see he was starting to worry that she was taking so long to speak. Her voice didn't feel like it was going to come out as smooth as she wanted, but she spoke anyway.

"I think... I think I'm pregnant." she spat out softly, not believing her own words. James smiled, confused.

"That's great. But why are you telling me?"

Apparently he'd forgotten. She resisted rolling her eyes, shutting them tightly with a heavy sigh instead.

"You were the last guy I was with... Remember that party?" she cleared her throat, hoping she wouldn't have to say any more as she opened her eyes to look at him, feeling ashamed to admit that.

Jane was embarrassed, to say the least, and she let him know that as she brought her hand up to rub at the back of her neck, looking away from the screen. They didn't even have a solid relationship, and she, as well as Chakwas, were confident that she was indeed pregnant. To her relief, it explained her seemingly out-of-the-blue “stomach flu” that she'd had for the past two weeks. Unfortunately, she was on the Citadel, and he was on Earth for his N7 training. A full weeks journey apart, and she had to wake him up to tell him this before she lost her nerve and cut him out of her life completely. She'd already been on the cusp of cutting off contact with him, seeing as she never bothered to check up on him.

"I know this is a lot to take in, but... I thought you should at least know about this. We don't exactly talk a lot these days, and I've really missed that." Jane paused again to look at him. She waited a few minutes as she watched several expressions float across his face as he sat there, mouth open and clearly trying to process what he'd heard. "James, just please say _something,_ you're freaking me out a little." She could tell by looking at him now that he was thinking of what to say next very carefully.

"Maybe we should talk about this in person.” he cleared his throat and ran a hand down his face, as if he needed to wake himself up. She thought that maybe if he had woken up, this might seem like a twisted nightmare. “I get a few days off in a couple weeks... You could stay in my place while you're here if you wanted. And it’d be nice to get to see you in person, again." that was the best he could come up with. It wasn't a bad idea. They could spend some time together, and actually talk about things privately.

"That's a good idea…" She nodded with a sigh, giving him a small smile with the relief that brought. Jane took the chance to change the subject. "While I have you here, how has training been going?"

"Pretty good. I think I liked your excitement better than these guys. Not as much gunfire." James was able to relax a little again, but Jane could see that the information was bearing heavily on him. At least they could talk for a bit before he likely had to leave.

"Yeah. You'll probably cruise through training, compared to what I've put you through." She chuckled, letting silence fill the air for a few minutes. He nodded, and she could see that she wasn't going to get much else out of him tonight. "Anyway... I'll see what I can do about visiting. You take care."

"Yeah, you too. I'll send you the dates I have off in a few minutes." he went back to the reserved tone. She remembered him using it when he got shy, or if he was about to say something he wasn't supposed to. She clicked the end call button and sighed heavily.

Jane sat back, looking down at her stomach, feeling it twist with anxiety. She opened up the extranet and began looking for shuttles to Earth, waiting for James' message to come through. Once it did, she was glad to see that it wasn't for another week or so. It would take a week to get there to begin with, so she could leave next week, and hopefully get there in time. She looked at the message again, and noticed that there had been another one while she wasn't looking. Apparently he was already being promoted to N1, and the reason he had the week off was for the ceremony at the end of it.

Jane felt proud of him. She knew he'd worked hard, despite already having quite a bump in his file from working with her. But she knew that he wasn't about to let that go to his head, and slack off. Though, at the same time she wondered what it would be like, going back to one of the first places she'd called home for a while. It was difficult, and she shook her head, closing the computer and pushing away from it. Though when she looked around, it was hard to figure out what she wanted to do next. She could go to bed, it was late enough.

She hated being alone in her apartment, because it left her with too much time to think on little things. She hated being alone, period. And forcing something on James if he wasn't interested or ready... she couldn't do that to him. He deserved more than this, and honestly she felt bad about how this whole scenario had come to be. Counting back in her head, it was probably about two and a half months since that night, from what she could recall. She didn't remember much of what had actually happened at that party besides a lot of drinking, loud music, and trying to get James to relax enough around her. She felt bad for how she'd come off that night, but they talked about it the next day, and cleared things up. Neither of them wanted it to be a one night stand. So instead, they'd made it two. Since then, there hadn't been much communication between them, and it was starting to eat away at Jane, even before this whole baby thing.

So many times, she'd thought about sending James a message, asking how he was, how things were going, was he still as interested in her as he had been? But none of it seemed appropriate at the time. Jane knew she was horrible with communication, so she didn't make a habit of keeping it up with her friends. Though they all realized this quickly, and instead made the effort to branch out to her. She appreciated it. Unfortunately, with people like James who were busy, that meant it took that much more effort to keep in touch.

With another heavy sigh, Jane stood up from her desk in the living room, and went to check that her front door was locked before she went to the bedroom and got herself ready for bed. For several long minutes, Jane stood naked in front of her mirror. She recognized the terrified look on her face, and then she quickly turned to put her clothes on before she could focus too much on what she was imagining. Namely, that James would want to come back with her and take care of her and this baby. She couldn't let herself get her hopes up, they hadn't even discussed the possibility of dating, or seeing what it would be like to be together, in any form.

Her head was beginning to feel like it was spinning, so she turned off the lights and focused on relaxing so she could get herself to sleep.

Though the next morning she was visited by her mother rather early in the morning, after making a very incomprehensible call the previous morning after seeing Chakwas. She'd barely just gotten out of bed, and was about to start breakfast. Her mother had a key to her apartment so it wasn't odd for her to suddenly burst in at times like these.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? I couldn't understand anything in your call yesterday." Hannah came in, her arm in a cast, and she sat down quickly with her daughter in the living room.

"I'm fine now." she shook her head. "Or I will be."

"Tell me what happened." her mother used her good hand to tuck back a few strands of Jane's hair. Jane sighed and turned her gaze away from her mother. She'd been raised better than this, she knew that, her mother knew that, and yet here she was struggling to be an adult and step up to deal with the consequences. "Jane, please, I'm worried about you." Jane closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath, not sure how else to phrase it. No matter how old she was, she would always feel like she had to live up to some standards set by her mother. This was not one of them, but she had to face this head on, or it could get out of control.

"I was scared when I called you because I didn't know what to do. But I figured it out... Sort of." she was building up to it slowly, trying to convince herself that she would be okay. But her tears were building up as well, and soon she was crying on her mother's shoulder. "I know you raised me better than this, mom. But I was being a little stupid a while ago." Her mother didn't do anything but rub her hand over her daughter's back. It's not that Jane didn't have feelings for James, it was just that, in the grand scheme of things, there were a lot of things that they could have done differently to avoid this whole fiasco. Not to mention this was hardly the type of thing she did, ever. After a few pained sobs, Jane finally sat up, looking her mother in the eye, already knowing what would be coming - a fight.

"I think I'm pregnant. Like a couple months pregnant." She let go of her mother, already seeing the fire in her aging eyes. She'd said it and there was no going back.

Hannah stood up after a minute and looked out the window, utterly silent. Her face fell visibly, her shoulders as well. While she knew that her mother was more than eager for her to settle down and have kids, Jane knew that this wasn't the way she'd imagined it happening. Neither of them had. But, they knew all too well, things never went according to plan. She was supposed to find a nice guy, get married, move some place nice, and then have kids. While it was ideal, somehow… Somehow this felt more how it should be. It felt right, in a strange sense. But that was clearly not how Hannah felt, and reality crashed back down around her.

All Jane could think of was how stupid she'd been for indulging in something so meaningless, not to mention taking advantage of someone in an intoxicated state more or less. Then again, she thought she was going to die in the next few weeks - that was probably why there hadn't been a lot of thought going into the matter. Regardless, she knew that what she'd done was irresponsible, and she'd already been given something of a small lecture from Chakwas about this. At least the doctor seemed happy that Jane responded with the tiniest smile from the relief of knowing at last what had been causing her stomach to be so upset.

Her mother came back over, grabbing her by the jaw so she was forced to look her in the eye. Jane was honestly terrified for what would come next.

"I'm disappointed in you, Jane. I really thought that I'd raised you better than to just fool around with anyone." her voice was low, and quiet. Her hand flew away but Jane kept staring as she continued, just a scared little girl at the mercy of her mother, "I hope you can figure out who the father is, because I'm not going to help you raise this child, and I'll be damned if you think this is something else you can do on your own."

"Mom-"

"You will wait until I'm finished, Jane!" Hannah hissed, then taking in a deep breath before she leaned down to hug her tightly. Her tone dropped back to her sweet, caring motherly tone. "I'm upset, but I'm glad you told me.” Now Jane was confused. “That takes a lot of courage. And I know that you're an adult that's fully capable of dealing with this situation on your own. Now... What were you wanting to say?"

"I was going say that I'm going to go visit him, so I do know who the father is. He's in N7 training right now-"

"Jane! He's in the _N7_ program?!" Hannah shot up again, shocked and horrified.

"He just started training! I mean, yeah, he was serving under me for a while-"

"Oh my god, did I teach you nothing?!" Hannah began yelling, steadying herself against the back of the couch as she looked like she was struggling to avoid hitting her daughter from how white her knuckles were. "I thought you knew not to fraternize!"

"We weren't fraternizing mom, we were on shore leave!" Jane stood up, ready to kick her mother out for all the trouble she was causing. Instead she took her turn to lower her tone as she tried to remain civilized, "Look, he was the one that suggested I go visit him. I called him last night to talk to him about this, and I think we'll both feel more comfortable talking in person. He has a few days off in a few weeks, so I'm going to see him so that we can figure out what we're going to do. I'm trying to get this sorted out, mom, you just have to let me do that. I'm taking care of things."

"At least you have something of a plan..." Jane could tell her mother was about to say something, but seemed afraid.

"What is it?" she asked finally, narrowing her eyes.

"What are you going to do if he doesn't want anything to do with this?" The look Jane received was nothing short of an accusation towards James. She could tell her mother thought he was just a stupid marine who'd been living out a fantasy of being able to sleep with her larger-than-life daughter. Jane knew that to be slightly true, but he was in no way stupid, especially since he'd worked so close with her. James had admitted that he wasn't the kind of guy that took things like sleeping with someone else lightly, especially when it was someone he had come to care for. Though she wasn't sure how much, after talking with him last night, she did hope that it was the same way she did.

"Trust me, he's not going to walk away from me. If he gets himself into a situation, he knows he has to get himself out of it." She knew him better than her mother thought. "I'm not going to let him just back out of this without a good reason." Such as, he wasn't ready for this. She might even accept him not wanting a child with her, given the circumstances, but that didn't mean she wasn't ready.

While she was on the Normandy, James had been there for nearly everything, though. He'd watched over her while she'd been confined to the headquarters, he'd been there for every mission to back her up and keep her safe, and Jane had let him in to her personal life more than once to save her own sanity. She'd invited him up to talk with her before they'd hit Earth, and he briefly mentioned that party she'd thrown, saying that he didn't often get that personal with anyone he worked with, but that he wouldn't mind it if he got personal with her again. That small memory made her smile a bit. That was the little bit of hope she'd been clinging on to for so long now. Jane looked up and saw her mother had opened her omni-tool to check the time.

Hannah sat back down next to Jane and put her arm around her daughter.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I need to go. I have a meeting to get to."

"It's fine mom. Thanks for coming by." Jane hugged her mom, "I'll let you know what happens when I get back home, okay?"

"Alright. Just try not to let this slip out until you know how to handle it."

"Mom, I know how to handle the media." Jane smiled, letting her mom show herself out. No matter how awful their conversations went, they always ended on a good note, even if the matter wasn't resolved. It was a habit from her childhood, when they would go months without seeing each other.

The rest of her day was spent booking a shuttle, figuring out how long she'd be there, and wondering if there was anyone else she could trust to give her advice. She had a feeling she needed to keep it to just herself, James, and her mother. There was nothing stopping James from telling everyone he knew, though Jane doubted he'd do that to her, knowing she'd be showing up soon. And it helped that James knew how she reacted to secrets being shared without her consent. And her mother was well aware of how much she was being watched, and how it reflected back on Jane. She stood up to change out of her clothes, deciding that she'd go out for breakfast, now that she felt the urge to walk around.

A few hours after her breakfast, she was still out for a short walk in the park near her apartment. It was fine for some time. But after she began looking around, she couldn't shake the feeling like she was getting stared at by everyone. And not just because of her past, but because she seemed to be so unhappy. That turned her back inside quickly, to which she began going through the stack of unopened movies she'd purchased over the years, desperate for something solitary to do. For Jane, the next four days were spent locked inside, watching movie after movie, enjoying the quiet, and ability to wear and do what she wanted when she wanted to. Some grew concerned for her, and tried contacting her, but she mostly ignored the messages. Until Jeff started calling her non-stop, interrupting her movie marathon.

"What?" she said rather harshly, tired and curled up on her side on the couch. She had a fuzzy blanket wrapped around her, it was all dark in the room except for the vid screen and the omni-tool, and she hadn't showered for three days now.

"Jesus, is that how you greet everyone now?" the man tried joking, taking a closer look at the screen. "Are you okay?"

"I don't feel like talking right now..." she muttered, eyes drifting back to the movie, tempted to end the call. She knew he'd just call her back until she picked up again.

"Why not? Everyone's getting worried about you, you know... You missed Karin's birthday party. It wasn't really the same without you there." his voice was soft, very concerned for her well-being if she missed the party of one of her closest friends.

"I... I just couldn't go." she hated to admit it, but she'd never even gotten an invite for it. She'd requested, from the last time she'd seen the doctor just last week, that she be kept away from most everyone else until she'd gotten her situation sorted out. Still, she felt bad missing out on a chance to see her friends.

"Is it because of James?" Jeff asked, a smile on his face. But he was asking in all seriousness. Jane panicked slightly.

"What?" there was no denying something about him put her on edge. Jeff sighed.

"Nevermind. You need to get out, Jane. So I'm going to take you out tonight to get this... whatever is going on, sorted out. Okay? I'll be there around 5." and without allowed her to protest, Jeff ended the call. Jane buried her face in the couch and began whining like a child. She didn't want to go out at all. It might have just been her paranoia, but lately when she looked at her reflection, her eyes were immediately drawn to her now pudgy belly. She hadn't exactly been working out like before, but it wasn't like she didn't know how to eat properly and keep her figure while sitting around all day, either. She just stopped caring, and because of it she was stared at when she went out, now. And because she got stared at, she stayed inside where no one could remind her to keep being healthy. It was a cycle that she was stuck in until now.

After the movie ended, Jane decide she'd take a shower, finally. It was nearing 3 in the afternoon. She'd forgotten already what it felt like to be clean, and now she was determined once more to take a shower every day. But then she faced another problem: choosing something to wear out of her apartment. She couldn't just throw on another pair of sweats, and an old t-shirt. Grumbling, she began digging through drawers, finding a pair of loose-fitting jeans, and a t-shirt that was a little tighter on her body than she'd have liked. She looked around for a sweater to cover up some of her body, glad that she found one that matched her shirt. She felt a little better and then turned to go back and comb through her hair and maybe put on a little makeup to make herself feel better. After that, she found she still had time to watch another movie. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Though, when she stepped out of the bedroom, she was hit with a smell that was not at all appealing. She dared to find the source, only to find out it was her couch, and blankets. Rolling her eyes she went to search for some air freshener, making sure it wasn't too strong before she used it, and then she threw the blankets into another room to be washed some other time. Jane also went so far as to open the shades on the window to let some light in. At least the floor was still clean. Then, she finally sat down, upright on the couch, and started another movie, losing herself in it.

When she heard the knock at the door she turned it off, dreading leaving the space she knew so well. She grabbed her key for the door, shoved it in her pocket, and shuffled over to the door, doing her best to smile at Jeff, who looked much more awake than she felt.

"Man... You looked a lot worse when I called you."

"I hadn't showered for a few days. Figured I could at least do that, for you." Jane stepped out, used to seeing the man on crutches by now. He laughed at her comment, but she couldn't find it in her to do the same. They didn't talk until he insisted that he drive them. She put up an argument that would have won, had he not pulled the "I was the pilot of the Normandy" card on her. She held up her hands and got in the passenger side, quiet. She was wishing she could go back home, now. Turns out, he was taking her to one of the lakes that tended to be less populated, especially with it being so late. Needless to say, Jane was fairly reluctant on getting out of the car. Jeff finally snapped at her.

"What the hell is going on with you, Jane? You were going out and doing a lot of things up until the last couple weeks. You missed your friend's party – you _never_ miss a party." he paused and faced her again. "Is this because James left right after the war? I mean, I know you two were close, but-"

"You don't need to know what's going on. Yeah, a little of it is because James isn't here, but I'm going to see him in a few days. As for the party, I asked her if it was okay not to go..."

"How did you ask-... Why were you seeing her?"

"None of your business." she hissed, getting out of the car. She had half a thought to just get a cab and go back home, but Jeff got out, moving quickly over to her, his voice quiet.

"It is my business because you're my friend. I've lost a lot of friends already, you're not going to be added to that list. Please, I just want to help you out, Jane."

She chewed on her lip. She didn't want to tell anyone, not until she had talked to James about it. Jeff tended to gossip, too. She hated holding that against him, but in the past it had proven to be a bad idea to tell him certain things. This was definitely a sensitive issue for many different reasons. One, she was, as far as she knew, single. Two, the father was in N7 training. Three, figuring how long she'd been pregnant, there wasn't much room for error as to when it had happened. Four, she still had significance to the galaxy. It would be hell for her if anything got out.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. This is just... Something I need to keep to myself until I can figure it out. When I do, we'll talk about it more, okay?"

"I'm holding you to that, Jane." Jeff was quiet, but motioned for her to follow him. "Can you at least tell me why you haven't been getting out, or is that off the table?"

"I just feel like people are staring at me for the wrong reasons." she said. She could talk about that, without any worry. "You know, like it's wrong that I go out alone, because I'm not really _with_ anyone."

"That's what you feel like is going on?"

"Yeah..."

"That's weird. By now, I'd think you wouldn't care what everyone else thinks about you." he was trying to cheer her up, she knew, but for some reason, his charm just wasn't working on her today.

"I do, though. Because now I might as well be one of them." she sighed. "I don't know, maybe I'm just getting tired of being recognized."

"Or, maybe you're just missing James' company?" Jeff nudged her. "He'd never stand to see you like this. You'd better perk up a little before you go and see him, otherwise he'll threaten to kick your ass."

"He couldn't if he tried." Jane smiled a little. Jeff found the key to making her smile, and kept the subject on James. So long as she was smiling again, he could feel better about taking her around. They took their time going around the lake, both sitting in the car a little exhausted about an hour later, trying to figure out something to eat that sounded good to both of them. They argued back and forth over who had more rights to make the final decision for a good ten minutes, before Jane won, making Jeff drive them to go get some asari cuisine. It was the only thing that sounded good at the moment.

"This is the weirdest thing I've eaten in a long time." Jeff said, seeming to be enjoying what he was eating, though.

"It's good, isn't it?" she smirked, picking up the bright green slimy thing, knowing it tasted good and wishing she didn't ever find out anything else about it. To her, it looked like a slug. It probably was one, but the way it was cooked made it taste heavenly.

"Maybe." the man replied, smiling. She could tell he wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of being right. When Jane had finished eating, she sat back in her seat, looking around. No one seemed to be paying her any attention. She felt some relief in knowing that she wasn't being looked at by everyone all at once. She sat and talked for a little while longer, mentioning when she was going to see James, and that she'd also seen her mother a few days ago. They chatted about the usual boring things for a while longer before they decided they were bored.

"Hey, thanks for taking me out. It was a nice change to my routine." she smiled, standing up after a while.

"No problem. You let me know if you want to go out at any time, alright? And tell James I said hi, when you see him."

"Yeah, I will." she smiled and walked out on her own, getting a cab to take her back home. The ride back was much better than she'd anticipated it to be, simply because she'd had a good time. The socialization made her realize how much she'd missed talking to people, though she was still thankful that everyone besides Jeff respected her desire to be alone.


	4. The Villa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane goes to visit James at the Villa, to talk more about what they're going to do about her being pregnant.

_"No problem. You let me know if you want to go out at any time, alright? And tell James I said hi, when you see him."_

_"Yeah, I will." she smiled and walked out on her own, getting a cab to take her back home. The ride back was much better than she'd anticipated it to be, simply because she'd had a good time. The socialization made her realize how much she'd missed talking to people, though she was still thankful that everyone besides Jeff respected her desire to be alone._

* * *

 

_-_ _Two Weeks Later_ _-_

Jane had been given possibly the worst seat ever on the shuttle from the Citadel to Earth. To start, the seat was rock hard and wouldn't move back so she could rest. Then, there was a nosy kid behind her that threw tantrums nearly non-stop. If it weren't for the little voice in her head telling her this was just practice, she would have spun around and smacked the brat. She hoped her kid wouldn't be nearly as feisty. Then, she chuckled at herself, realizing that between her and James, that was virtually impossible.

There was a two hour wait for her between the shuttles. She'd landed in London, and had to wait for the shuttle from Rio de Janeiro to come around. It had been a long time since she'd been to the city, and even longer since she'd been at the Villa. There wasn't a shred of doubt that she was anxious to be back to see James, but there was an added sense due to knowing she'd likely see her own mentors again. That wasn't something she was prepared for. And she thought about that on the ten hour shuttle ride from London.

_Hey, I'll be arriving in about four hours. You're still picking me up, right? -Jane_

_I'll still pick you up. What color is your shirt? -James_

Jane looked down before replying.

_Dark red. Afraid you won't recognize me? -Jane_

_You know you always stand out in a crowd. See you soon Lola. -James_

She smirked, well aware that the nickname was growing on her. It would fit nicely, while she was visiting the city. Maybe no one would recognize her if she responded to it. And maybe she'd have to come up with something to get back at him. The next three and a half hours were spent trying to come up with something suitable for the hulking man she had come to visit. Or maybe she'd just use the nickname the mentors had given. Those were always fun. Shaking her head, she tried focusing on what was ahead of her. She wouldn't have expected this of herself a few years ago.

Once the shuttle had landed, she stepped off with her backpack and duffel bag, knowing that it'd be hard to miss James in such a small port. She walked to a window to look out at the city, pulling the sweater tighter over herself as she waited, a strand of hair being tucked behind her left ear. She felt someone step up beside her, and she looked to her left, smiling. He stood there in the same outfit she'd seen him in for months, though the colors had changed a little. All in all, he hadn't really changed much at to begin with. His hands were shoved into his pockets and Jane could see dark circles under his eyes, that was the only difference. Without a word she turned to face him fully, wrapping both arms around his massive torso and pressing her cheek against his shoulder. She felt his arms pull her tighter against him, pressing all of her into him. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she decided to let go. She picked up her backpack and let him take her other bag. But they still hadn't said anything to each other. When they were both in the car he'd obviously rented out just for her visiting, he spoke up.

"How've you been?" it wasn't much, but it was something.

"I've been okay." she rubbed at the back of her neck. "I haven't really gotten out that much. And the shuttle to London was hell."

"What happened on the shuttle?" he asked, smiling a little. She looked back with a smile that told him she was less amused than it appeared.

"Little brat that was sitting behind me kept asking me questions I didn't need to answer, and he kept throwing tantrums. His mother was fast asleep the whole time, I think she just kept drinking herself asleep." Jane shook her head and sighed. "Oh well. How's the training been going since I last called?"

"Ceremony for N1 is in a couple of days." he beamed. "Glad you could be here to see it, actually. I mean, I would have asked you to come anyway, but... Since you're here now..." he was stumbling through his words and she smiled.

"I wouldn't miss that for anything. You've earned it."

"Thanks, Lola." he seemed to relax again and they were silent as they drove back to the Villa. Jane was taking in all the sights that had changed over the past few years since she'd been here last. It had to be at least five years, now. Everything in the city looked fresher, and more sturdy. Likely because of the attack, she thought, but in a way, it had helped everyone on Earth realize that every country needed help with certain areas of life. Now, everyone was beginning to equalize, due to the heavy demands.

Passing through the gates to the Villa, Jane got a sudden chill down her back. It was no less intimidating than when she'd been here as a student, but at least she didn't have to worry about missing anything. All of the students who made it to N1 had their own private apartments. Seeing as James now qualified for that, he'd only recently moved in to the apartment. Pulling up to the building, Jane sighed.

"I stayed here." she said softly.

"Which one?" James asked, both sitting in the car looking up at the building.

"503."

"Hm... That's where Cameron is. Better not tell him that, he's already stuck-up and convinced he's better than everyone, don't need the 'aura of Commander Shepard' adding to that superiority complex of his.” James chuckled a bit and then motioned for her to get out. “I'm in 510." James then got out of the car, Jane followed. The day was just getting started but it was already pretty hot outside. Jane regretted wearing the sweater, but was glad she'd packed for the weather, otherwise. Up the stairs, Jane walked down the familiar hall, right past her old room. Just a few doors down, James stopped to open the door, standing to let her go in first. She wanted to tease him, but it didn't feel like the right time. For having just moved in, the place was pretty well furnished. She wondered if the previous resident had left everything behind. When she asked James nodded.

"I hope there wasn't anything wrong with it." she said, running her hand over the back of the couch. It looked relatively new, though it also looked like it'd been used often enough. At least one seat, did.

"The guy just said he didn't have enough room for it at his new place. And once he learned who I was he suspected I'd have plenty of visitors and thought it'd be better off here with me, anyway."

"Visitors?" she smirked. James' face turned pink.

"Yeah well you know. I'm a young guy, he probably assumed... Uh... Yeah. You know."

"James I'm not gonna kick your ass or anything, if you've had some fun besides me." Jane spoke softly. As much as she hated to admit it, he was still free to pursue whoever he wanted. The color on his face returned to normal when he set the bag down next to the couch. Jane sighed. "I'm sorry James-"

"No, it's fine." he said, shrugging it off. "I haven't really had time for that sort of thing, anyway."

"You'll make time, if you ever do." she chuckled, "I know I did. Got me in trouble a few times."

"What, did you show up late the next day, or something?" he was grinning and they both sat down.

"Once, yeah. The other two times it was someone who I had to train with the next day, and it never seemed to go quite how they wanted it to." she glanced up and smiled. "I've knocked you on your ass a couple of times, and that was when I was just playing around. Imagine what happens when you tell me I need to fight to get a warm shower after training, and I haven't had one for a good four days."

"I hate that exercise." he shook his head with a smile. "I've had to have a few cold showers, but I think with the heat, sometimes that's a good thing."

"You aren't in the bunks anymore, so they can't exactly get you with that one anymore." Jane sighed, looking around some more. The kitchen was small, but it looked like he hadn't wasted the opportunity to use it. The front door was right next to the kitchen, and the living room where they were was right beside the kitchen, all on the left. To the right of the door was the singular bedroom with the attached bathroom. And that was it for the apartment. Every apartment had the same components, it was only a matter of whether or not the floor plan was flipped. But when you were out training for upwards of fourteen hours a day, you didn't need much else to survive.

"So... I know I already asked, but how are you really?" His voice was calm, and soft, like it always was when they had a heart to heart. She couldn't tell if it was because he was scared, or if he was just trying to help her feel comfortable. Either way she sunk into the couch a little, putting her feet up after she took her shoes off.

"I haven't been doing much. After I called you, my mom came over and... That conversation was hard. I know she still loves me. Though at the same time, she's not going to do much to help." Jane swallowed thickly and glanced over to him. He was facing her, his arm stretched out along the back of the couch. At least he was listening to her, or appearing to do so. "I think I spent the next three or four days just shutting myself in my apartment, watching movies. I don't think I showered for that time, either." she smiled. "And then Jeff called me, and made me spend an afternoon with him. It was pretty nice, he wasn't pushing me to explain myself if I didn't feel like it."

"Did you tell him?" Jane didn't need context to know what he was referring to. She shook her head.

"He's my best friend, but there are some things I don't need to tell him right then and there, you know? I told him I'd explain everything once I get it figured out. And I figure he's just going to have a field day with this, once he does find out." she chuckled a little, running her hands over her knees and then locking her hands together around her legs.

"He might tease us for a little bit, but I think you and I know he does care." James glanced down at her feet and she grinned. She'd painted her toenails not too long ago, and they were bright blue. Wiggling her toes he chuckled and she shrieked when he grabbed her by the ankles, pulling her closer to him. He ran his hands up her legs to the backs of her knees and tickled her, causing her to sit back on her legs to get him to stop, her laughter loud and genuine. When he stopped he kept his hands where they were, and he looked up at her as she sat on his lap, facing him. She was grinning and she gently shoved his chest. Jane didn't know why he'd done that, or whether or not it was okay that she was sitting like this. Their relationship was still gray, for her. They hadn't seen each other for a while, much less talked.

"What was that for?" she finally asked, deciding to settle into the spot she was in.

"Felt like it." he shrugged. She knew he was lying and she gave him a look. "Okay, fine. I didn't want you to feel bad, so I thought I'd try to distract you, and it seemed to work."

"Why was I going to feel bad?"

"The direction of the conversation." He shifted in his seat, looking up at her with a slightly more serious face, "I know this probably isn't easy for you to be going through, but I'm gonna be here for you as long as you let me. I'm the reason you're even having to deal with this situation, after all."

"I'm pretty sure it's just as much my fault as it is yours." Jane smiled. "I started it, I guess."

"Yeah, you did keep bringing me stuff to drink." he chuckled. "It was good, though. And I wouldn't have given in if I hadn't wanted to..." James was looking up at her, and she couldn't help but lean in, a little hesitant. She stopped just an inch or so away from him, before she went for it. She pressed her lips into his and put her hand on his shoulder, feeling his hands slide up to her back, increasing the contact between them. Jane let out a small noise when she felt pressure on her back, pushing her against him. It wasn't protest, but rather letting him know she was enjoying it. He was the one to end it, though. Jane pushed out her lower lip, frowning at him.

"You're confusing me, James..." she said, almost in a teasing voice. But she really was confused right now. When he'd picked her up, it seemed like he just wanted her to be his friend, and now he was acting like he just wanted her, and she didn't know what to think of that.

"I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to. How am I confusing you?"

"Just... One minute you're being all friendly, keeping your distance. And then the next minute, this happens." she chuckled nervously, and ran a hand through her hair. The hand on his shoulder had dropped to his chest. The fabric of the shirt was nice, she thought. “I know I'm not the best at keeping in touch, but… I really thought we had something...”

"I've never really been in a serious relationship." he shrugged, then growing pink. "I mean if that's what you want. I don't want to make you feel like you have to."

"I do want that. Or at least I want to try. Just as long as it's not because I'm pregnant." she muttered as her head hung, finally getting the word out between them. It felt like a little bit of weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Lola, you and I both know this started way before that party." he said, hooking his finger under her chin, so she would look him in the eye. He was smiling. "Let me take you on a real date tonight, at least. We'll see what happens."

"This is all a little backwards, but okay." she smirked, pecking him on the cheek. Night was a long way off, and Jane wanted to get around to meet some people. The only problem was that she'd have to take off the sweater, because otherwise she'd likely pass out from heat exhaustion. The shirt she had on underneath, James had told her several times, was absolutely fine.

"No one would be able to tell unless you told them. And even then it would take a lot of looking." he smiled and walked out with her. "Might be a little softer on the edges, but you haven't exactly been running around, have you?"

"No." she smiled and felt a little better. He wouldn't lie to her. And when she looked in the mirror before leaving, he was right. She wasn't as fit in appearance as she'd been a few months ago, but she had spent most of her time sitting down and doing next to no work. Maybe that's why people had been staring. She'd been covering up nothing, and had been looking guilty of something. She could work on fixing that. Jane wished that James could be around more often to help her out in these situations. He saved her from making a fool of herself more often than she'd like to admit.

On their impromptu tour, the first person they came across was James' mentor, Ricky. Jane didn't mention it, but he'd been an N2 when she was an N6. He'd worked his ass off, and he hadn't exactly been the most fit person there, either. But he cleaned up well. It almost made her feel bad for picking on him a few times. Luckily, he'd only known her by her nickname back then, so she was more or less a stranger to him in that regard. But while the men chatted, Jane looked around some more, noting that they'd added two new complexes for training. As they walked some more, James explained that if he had to pick a favorite exercise in training, it had to be the 72-hour missions where they sent everyone in teams into the rainforest. Jane had never gone through that one so he explained.

"They put us in teams of three to seven people, drop us off at random locations, inside a fenced off area, and we have to survive for 72 hours with only a days' worth of rations and pocket knives. The few times I've done it, the first thing we do is elect a leader. I've only led once, but it's not easy. Usually we search for water, and then shelter. You know, basic survival needs. Sometimes, like when we have a biotic on the team, we go hunt for some extra food, and we split everything even." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I think the first time I went out, one of the teams actually had to be airlifted out, because they'd started going after each other the first night. They didn't have any of their rations, except one kid. They let the rest of us know that the kid was still on the loose, and they changed the goal of the exercise a little, and had us track him down. They said the team to get him to surrender his weapons and rations without a fight would get three days off from training, and extra meal cards. So... I was determined to get the good food, and we were able to take the kid in his sleep. He wasn't much older than 20, I'd say."

"Where's that kid now?"

"Training with the tech kids. Guess he's real quick to hack into something."

"Hm. Sounds like Garrus would get along with him." she smiled softly, sighing at the air-conditioned room they entered.

"I don't know, he's pretty cruel to some people, I've heard."

"Not to you, I hope. Otherwise I might need to have a little chat with him." she winked, looking around the commons. There were groups scattered all around, but the noise was uniform. James had pulled her over to meet his friends, all of them looking surprised that he'd been telling the truth.

"No offense James, but I thought you were just bullshitting us." a woman name Dianne said, standing to shake Jane's hand. "It's an honor to meet you, ma'am."

"Hey, you think I'd lie about something like that, Fifi?" he smirked.

"Stop that! I hate it when you call me that!" Dianne growled, not looking genuinely mad, though she did stomp off a bit. Jane looked worried but she shook her head, when James mentioned she probably had somewhere to be, anyway. Evaluations were happening this week, so people tended to disappear at random times for a few minutes each.

"Everyone here calls her that. It's because she showed up here in heels."

"I showed up in heels. But I managed to change everyone's mind about the nickname." Jane grinned, sitting to meet the rest of the group. She was glad no one asked further. After Dianne, there was Nathan, then Lori, Andy, and Hayden sat beside James. They were a good group of kids, she thought, all of them were about the same age, probably three years older than James. But he swore to them he'd be leaving them to bite the dust, because he was going to get to N7 by the end of the year. Even Jane couldn't believe that was possible. Then again, she had to admit, James was stubborn, and when he committed he wasn't going to back down for anything or anyone. Dianne eventually came back to the group, holding a deck of cards and looking like she'd calmed down, apologizing for yelling. When James hollered in excitement, Jane grinned, backing out of the game, but wanting to watch.

"Probably for the best, she'd smoke all of you." James boasted for her.

"How would you know?" Lori asked, seeming interested to know every detail about how they'd gotten to know each other. She was definitely a romantic.

"Let's just say when he was aboard the Normandy, I didn't take too kindly to smoking. And when I caught him, I challenged him to a game. If he won, I'd let him smoke. And if I won, he had to wait on me hand and foot for a week, on top of swearing to never smoke again." she smirked, clapping her hand on his shoulder. "He gives great back and shoulder massages, you know." she knew they'd all be on him now, but it was all fun. Jane chuckled and gently patted his shoulder, letting her hand rest on it.

After four games, the group disbanded. The others still had to go to their evaluations, yet he'd already had his. James then mentioned taking a trip to see the director. She smirked and followed him to the main office of the establishment, many of the desk workers recognizing both as they walked in, and a few whispering to one another with grins. Jane went ahead and asked to see the director, only to find out he'd been heading her way.

"Matthes." Jane saluted him out of respect, smiling. He returned the salute, and then held out a hand. When she'd been here he still had dark brown hair, lined with wisps of grey. Now, his whole head was silver, but he wore it well. It seemed as though his eyes were as sharp as ever, though.

"Shepard. It's good to see you." he smiled, and then nodded at James. "Good thing we promoted you, Vega. Couldn't have her staying in the bunks, again."

"It wouldn't have been so bad." she smirked. "Looks like things haven't changed much, since I was here last."

"They haven't, really. We've added a few new exercises to the list, but we keep things pretty much the same. And any of the damage that we took has been fixed up already. Glad you could be here again."

"Me too. It feels like coming home." she lied, just trying to end the conversation. She hated talking with Matthes, he droned on forever. Unfortunately that's exactly what he started doing. He started going on about how keeping with tradition is what made the place, what kept people coming back, and on and on. Jane had zoned out but suddenly began feeling a little sick. James noticed her face beginning to grow pale.

"Sir, I'm very sorry but Shepard hasn't slept much in the past few days. She's starting to look a little faint, I think I should get her somewhere she can rest." he said, putting an arm around her so she could lean against him.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But come and see me again if you have the chance, I'd love to know what you think of everything." Matthes called out as they started walking away briskly. As soon as they were out of view, and outside, Jane found the nearest trash can and threw up into it. James stood next to her, unsure of what to do, but she was glad he was trying to help. When she stood up again, she sighed.

"Laying down sounds like a good idea, right now."

"You gonna be okay?" he put his arm around her again. She nodded.

"Just morning sickness. At least I had something to eat today. I hate dry heaving."

"Yeah, let's not talk about that." James said quickly. She looked up and saw that he looked a little pale himself. With a smile she shut her mouth, and let him practically carry her up the stairs and into the apartment again.

"I'll just lay on the couch for now, it's fine." she said, sinking down into it.

"Do you want a pillow, or a blanket?" James stammered a bit. She smiled.

"A pillow would be nice, thank you."

"I'll wake you up in a couple of hours." he said when he returned, crouching next to her when he handed over the pillow. Jane reached up to brush her fingers against his cheek, before she closed her eyes and curled up a little on the couch with a smile on her face.

Jane still had a few things that she needed to talk to James about, but since he was offering to take her on a real date, and the fact that she'd be sticking around for a few days gave her enough reason to push that out of her mind for the time being. Thinking about the date made her excited to see what he'd plan for them, and a little nervous. She was only nervous because he didn't seem to have much experience with anything, other than smooth-talking to a girl and being a shameless flirt. He didn't seem like he'd had many opportunities to follow through, so maybe this was his way of finally getting to do just that. Needless to say, it would be a memorable night for both of them.


	5. Date Night - Part 1

She was nudged awake gently some time later. The sun was streaming through the window without shame, lower in the sky than it had been when she'd arrived. James was sitting on the floor, smiling at her.

"Feel better?" he asked as she sat up. Jane stretched and nodded with a smile.

"A lot better, yeah. What time is it?"

"Uh... I think it's about 5:30." he moved to sit beside her now, seeming to be looking over her a little more than he had been earlier.

"So, when were you wanting to leave for this date?" she grinned, smoothing her hair the best she could. He shrugged and she felt his fingers at the back of her neck. "James..." she warned. He chuckled and placed his hand on her back.

"I was thinking I'd give you a half hour to wake up, and then we could go."

"That's so nice of you." she hummed, leaning over to kiss his cheek, and then leaning against him. 

She wasn't usually very cuddly with people, but she supposed that James was a very special case. He'd quickly learned that she'd spent more than a few nights with Kaidan in her past. Mostly before the collectors were a real threat. And he'd been there for her when she was falling apart over his being in the hospital, and all over again when she was trying to figure out if she could make it work with the man again, when he'd joined the crew again. James had been made aware of practically everything that had gone on between them, and for whatever reason, Jane had picked James to go to when she needed council on personal matters. And when Kaidan had claimed he didn't feel the same about her anymore, she ran off to James for comfort. It had been awkward for them at first, but then they both warmed up to each other and it became easier to casually curl up against him on duty without one of them blushing. Jane became aware that the few days following, James had made an effort to talk to Kaidan to try to get some perspective on the problem. Jane didn't know he cared about her that much, but when it began to show, she took interest. He was a big, tough guy when he needed to be. And it was just their secret that he was the biggest pushover when it came to sensitive matters. She would be sure to keep that secret a little while longer. 

Suddenly, the image of James holding a baby came to her mind, and she couldn't help but giggle at how cute she thought he looked. Not to mention it made her gut ache with how sweet that would be, and how much she wanted to see it come to life.

"What?" he interrupted her.

"Nothing, I was just remembering something funny you said to me a while back." she lied, glad he let it go after she said that. A few more minutes passed, and Jane decided she'd brush her hair and teeth before they left. Leaning over the edge of the couch on the way from the bathroom, Jane reached into her backpack, digging through it to find her hair brush.

"Thanks for the view, Lola." James chuckled. She rolled her eyes and when she found the brush she ran it through her hair, easily taming the red mess and then looking over.

"What's for dinner?"

"The only thing you can get out here." he said, standing and holding his hand out for her. "Traditional Hispanic food."

"That actually sounds like the best thing ever right now." she grinned, dropping the brush back in her bag and walking out with James' hand in hers.

"Let's just hope no one sees us while we're out." he muttered. She thought he tightened his grip on her hand, but she was sure she was imagining it. As soon as they were in the car again, they drove out of the walls of the Villa, and headed into the city just a mile away. And when he pulled the car up to a familiar building, Jane could feel the drool threatening to leave her mouth.

"I swear, it's like you researched all the places I went to when I was in N training." she said excitedly as she got out of the car. She was half-way to the door when he caught up to her, putting his arm around her waist now.

"Hey, this is a date, remember? I gotta try to make you like me." he winked at her and she giggled, walking into the door that was held open by a staff member of the restaurant.

"Well you're also going to have to do a lot of the talking - I can't remember half the Portuguese I learned just from coming here." she leaned against him as he put them on the list to wait for approximately fifteen minutes for a table. She didn't mind waiting so much, because it gave her time to look around and see if there was anyone she might need to hide from. She was glad she didn't see anyone at first glance, and she turned her attention back to James.

He had one arm wrapped around her waist still, and she let her head fall onto his shoulder with her eyes closed. She was glad that she had a break from the hustle and bustle of the Citadel, it was a nice feeling to have every little moment to herself, instead of being constantly watched by someone who was usually in a bush.

"Hey, you'd better not be falling asleep on me." James chuckled. Jane grinned and looked up at him.

"I'm not sleeping, I'm relaxing. It feels nice to just... Be me."

"Sucks you can't be yourself all the time. Makes me curious to know who you are the rest of the time."

“Shut up.” she snorted, then relaxed back into him.

She kept her eyes closed while they waited, and when their table was ready, they followed a young man to the empty table in the back. They'd walked past the bar and Jane looked in, seeing nothing but Alliance uniforms. It made her smile just a little, and when she sat down, she was happy that James chose to sit beside her, instead of across from her. They were quiet as they looked over the menus, until Jane realized she couldn't read half of what was on it. So James went through some of it with her, teasing her when he could, just to see her smile. When their waiter came over, James was quick to take over the conversation, ordering everything for both of them, and double checking that she was okay with him having a drink. She nodded and then shifted, a little uncomfortable when he was talking, and she glanced out the window at the distant rainforest. When it grew quiet she felt him nudge her, so she turned back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I just didn't really know what to do with myself." she chuckled nervously and rested her forearms on the table, leaning forward. She saw him reach out from the corner of her eye, and she felt his hand on her back.

"Well you don't need to do anything, really." he was quiet and then he leaned a little closer to her. "Anything you want to talk about?" she sighed and shrugged.

"There's stuff I need to talk to you about, but that can wait, because I don't want to talk about that right now."

"I get that." he said, dropping his hand and putting it back in his lap. She saw he was bouncing his leg and she sat up again, deciding to take his hand.

"So how many stories of me have you told your friends?"

"What?" he turned his head to look at her, very confused.

"I'm sure your friends know who first started training you. I would assume they'd ask for stories."

"They ask, but I don't really have any good ones." he chuckled. "At least none that I want them to know about."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I have told them plenty of stories about Garrus though. Especially to Dianne and Lori. I think it's safe to say they have the hots for him." he was grinning and Jane couldn't help but chuckle at what he'd said.

"He's not bad looking. But I think he might be taken, or at least very busy."

"Why's that?"

"You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"Oh my god, James." she started laughing, taking a moment to collect herself before she went on, "He and Tali hit it off, and I think they just moved in together a few weeks ago."

"You know, I was wondering why she kept being so rude to him all the time, and why he didn't seem to care."

"I'll bet you didn't notice that they weren't at the party for the last half of it, either." she said softly, smirking when she looked at him.

"I don't think we were, either." his voice grew low and Jane had to remind herself where they were, but she let herself kiss his cheek, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Anyway... I don't think Garrus is exactly available at the moment. You might have to break that news to your girlfriends."

"Girlfriends? Nuh-uh. I only have one and she's sitting right next to me."

"You think just because you took me out for dinner that makes me your girlfriend?" Jane smirked, teasing him. Though he seemed to take it seriously and grew quiet. She nudged him and laughed it off. "I'm just teasing you, James. But it's nice you think of me that way, it's very flattering."

"And what about you?" he asked, sitting back and pausing the conversation as their food and drinks were set down.

"What about me?" she repeated, pulling the glass of water over to herself. Whatever James had looked like it tasted good. He smiled at her.

"What am I to you?"

Jane couldn't help but shake her head, chuckling at him as she began stirring the soup. It had been the only thing that sounded good to her from what had been read off to her. She ate some of the soup before she looked over, seeing that he was hanging his head a bit. Feeling bad, she put her hand on his back, now.

"I think you know that I care about you just as much about you as you care about me. I didn't think I had to tell you."

"Never hurts to be clear about some stuff." he shrugged, though it looked like he was at least lightening up a little. She would hate to see him upset.

"Well don't feel bad." she paused and then smirked. "Do I still get to come home with you?" that got him to crack and she felt better.

"Yeah, you still get to come home with me, Lola." he leaned over to kiss her temple, and they both ate in relative silence. Jane picked off a few tomatoes from his plate when he hadn't been looking, and each time she giggled. It wasn't until the third time that he caught her, shaking his head and claiming he hadn't been eating them anyway. She'd finished eating long before him, and so she sat there and watched him eat for a while, making fun of him some for eating so much.

"It's not fair that you can eat this much and you don't get fat."

"Hey, I work it off."

"Yeah, lucky you." she smirked and trailed her hand down his arm, lowering her voice a little, "If you're lucky you might get to work some of it off tonight..."

"Excuse me?" he swallowed hard, looking over at her with a chuckle.

"I know you heard me." she grinned and tapped at his empty glass. "Think you've had enough yet, Vega?" she couldn't help but say.

"Might take a little more than that. But I think you should drive back, just to be safe." he grinned.

"Good call, you're starting to miss." she grinned, wiping off the corner of his mouth. As he finished off the last of his meal, she settled back against his shoulder. When the waiter came back, James seemed adamant about sending him off. He sat back once the table was cleared off and he put his arm around Jane.

"I don't think we need to have dessert here." he said, looking at her.

"I don't think I could eat anything else." she smiled, letting her eyes close.

"Then we'll just go back home." he winked. James took the check, and paid for their dinner with a small fight beforehand over who should pay. Seeing as she was the guest, James insisted he pay, while Jane complained about not being able to pay for anything anymore. Though she gave in and let him pay, eventually. As they walked out, a small group of the soldiers from the bar were behind them. One happened to recognize Jane, and as soon as they were outside the man approached her.

"I didn't know you were in town! Why don't you come home with me, I can show you a real good time!" he managed to say without stumbling over his words, though she couldn't say the same for his feet. And judging by the way he was looking at her, she suspected James might as well have been invisible. It wasn't the first time she'd been hit on, but without a weapon she felt very vulnerable. Especially when his friends looked ready to back him up.

“I'm good, thanks." she snapped, glaring. The man stopped as she continued walking, James putting his arm around her.

"Hey, where are you going? Don't you know it's rude to refuse a party invitation?" the man called out, sounding angry as he followed.

"I'm going home!" Jane called out, rolling her eyes. She thought that had been the end of it, but then she heard something smack against James' shoulder, and he stopped, in turn making her stop. "James-" she reached out but he wasn't going to be stopped by her.

He was already turning back around to face the three men following the pair, or rather Jane. He was already intimidating, and she swore she heard him growl. The one who'd been talking with Jane looked panicked as soon as James had turned around.

“I think you missed something,  _ pendejo _ .” James called out, stalking towards the group. One of them began backing away while the other two only stood there, looking frightened but willing to stand their ground. He got close enough that he could either start a fight with them, or talk to them. Luckily no one seemed particularly interested in getting into a fight at the moment. James chose to speak in a lower voice, one Jane barely heard the tail end of what he'd said. “Go sober up before you regret trying to take my girl home.”

The men nodded and quickly walked off. James made his way back towards Jane, looking nothing less than pissed off, and clearly still drunk. She had no idea that his moods could swing so fast when he was inebriated. But, at least he was still sober enough to realize when he'd pushed his limits. He shoved his hand into his pocket.

“You should probably drive.” he mumbled. They made their way back to the car, and she took his keys, getting in to drive them back. They were silent the whole ride back, mostly because Jane was doing her best to think of some way to thank him for what he'd done. Once they were outside the apartment building Jane looked over and saw that James looked very tired, his drink already wearing off. She had to help him get moving again, but he seemed just fine once he was upright.

"Hey James?" she asked softly as they climbed the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not getting into a fight with those guys."

"Wasn't worth it. I'd have put them all on their asses before they knew what was coming to them." he said, searching for the apartment key.

"It's nice to see you have some self control." she said softly, more to herself. When the door opened, James flicked on the lights so they could see where they were going. He sat down on the couch and Jane closed the door behind her, feeling like she didn't need to bother with the lock in a place like this, and began walking over to sit beside him. And then she decided she'd rather sit on his lap, and see if she couldn't cheer him up a little.

"Hello." he grunted when she sat down, smiling a bit.

"Hi there." she hummed, resting her head on his shoulder. Both his arms wrapped around her instantaneously, and she was now grateful for some warmth. "It's kinda chilly in here." she said softly.

"Want me to play with the thermostat?"

"No, it's fine." she grinned, "You're keeping me plenty warm."

"Just warm? I can do better than warm." he grinned, gently moving her so that she was sitting up again. She ended up straddling him, but it hardly mattered because his hands were pushing her closer to him despite all her efforts to keep away. She giggled when she slammed against him, her muscles no match against his. She knew this was hardly what she should be doing right now, but she didn't want to bury herself in what ifs right now. So, she crushed her lips against James' and let the what ifs fly away.

Apparently he hadn't been expecting it because he froze for a second, taking the time to realize what was going on, before he just accepted it and did his best to return the favor. She was very appreciative of the fact that he at least had a firm grip, and wasn't nearly as afraid to touch her as he had been the first time. In hindsight, she was laughing at how much he'd stumbled around with her. But because she'd been drunk, she didn't really care then. It was a little strange to her that he'd suddenly become so much more forward and confident. She pulled her mouth from his, panting.

"James?"

"Hm?" he'd already busied his mouth with her neck.

"Last I remember, you had no clue what you were doing with me..." she closed her eyes and let out a surprised moan when she felt a hand going a little further than her ass.

"And?"

"I feel like you might have been lying when you said you haven't seen anyone since." she felt the warmth of his mouth leave her neck, and it gave her goosebumps.

"What are you trying to say, Lola?" he looked concerned and she just shook her head with a grin slapped on her face.

"I just appreciate that you're more confident this time." she chuckled, pressing her mouth against his again. “I'm not meaning anything by it, really.” He gave a small grunt in response, holding her where she was. Their kiss was fiery, and it almost seemed like nothing had happened earlier to spoil their mood. Whether that was good or bad, Jane didn't care at the moment. She was lost in James. 

It grew heated quickly, and once Jane had James' shirt off, she couldn't help but plant a few kisses on his chest. While she was distracted, she hadn't felt his hands move. She yelped in surprise when he'd picked her up, flipping her to lay on the couch with a controlled intensity. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to back down, now. Just as he was about to lean forward to kiss her, already close as it was, there was a knock on the door, and Jane felt adrenaline shoot through her as she heard the door open. James didn't seem to notice, or care much, judging by the way his mouth seemingly attacked her jaw and neck.

"Hey James, you in here?" a woman's voice called out.

"A little busy, Lori." he grunted, hidden by the back of the couch, despite his massive body. He looked at Jane and she suppressed a giggle, unaware that he enjoyed getting caught until just now. Admittedly, she was getting a little caught up in him, not caring much about what was going on. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to be kissing him after having such a strong drink.

"James?" the woman's voice was closer, and that meant the woman was definitely not behind a door anymore. If Jane had to guess, she was about five feet away - enough for Jane to be hidden. But James sat up on his knees, face a little red and his breath hardly steady. He could have passed for being in the middle of a workout had he not been on the couch.

"What do you need?" he asked, sounding a little irritated. Jane was too tempted to run a hand up his abs to his chest that was already glistening just slightly with his sweat. She knew she shouldn't have but Jane spoke up, needing more of his kisses. Not to mention she felt cold air and wouldn't have it.

"Come back here." she said with nothing short of a sultry voice that hardly sounded like herself, yanking at his belt. The man was caught by surprise and fell down with another grunt, his nose brushing up against Jane's. She giggled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him. She didn't particularly care at the moment that she was probably ruining some important conversation, or how it made either of them look. James made a move to pull away from her.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry." Lori quickly stammered, her voice growing farther away as her footsteps headed back to the door. “I can come back… later...” her voice cracked a bit. James broke the kiss, looking down at Jane with a bit of disappointment. Whether it was towards her, or the situation, Jane couldn't tell.


	6. Date Night - Part 2

"One minute." he whispered before he stood up off the couch, walking over towards the door and completely ignoring his shirt. "Lori, what is it?" Jane kept still for a minute, listening. For how potentially embarrassing the situation could be, he didn't seem phased by it at all.

"I-I was just coming to... um... a-ask you about something."

"Yeah?" the way James drug out the word, it sounded like this was a regular thing with the girl.

"I-It's fine James. Really."

"Lori, just ask me the damn question." Jane popped her head up now, face visible. The woman's face was beet red, and when she looked over at Jane, her eye nearly bugged out of her head.

"Christ, James! When were you going to tell me?!" Lori yelled, shoving James. She'd turned to leave but James followed her out. Jane stood up and snuck closer to the door, wanting to know what was going on. She just wanted to make sure James was going to be okay,. Though from the way Lori had spoken, it could have sounded like a couple arguing. She really hoped that wasn't the case here, and James wasn't one to lie… But the possibility was always there.

"Lori, when was I going to tell you what?"

"That you were fucking Shepard!"

"What?" he asked, completely shocked by the statement.

"James, you're so thick-headed." it sounded like she was crying, "How many times do I have to throw myself at you before you get the message, huh? How many times?"

"Lori, I..." he sighed, "I knew that you were interested, but I just wasn't interested, okay? I might not have handled it in the best way, but I didn't want that kind of relationship with you." James sounded pretty calm for being yelled at. Maybe Jane had gotten him used to it. But it was silent and James started speaking again, much quieter. "Look, I'm sorry that this whole thing has to be one-sided. Really, I know how it feels. But I thought I'd made it a little clear earlier when I'd introduced you to her what was going on. Or at least… I don't know..."

"You were about as clear as mud, James. You made it out to seem like you two were buddies. I didn't even know she was going to be staying with you."

"Lori, don't go-"

"Forget it, James. I... I need to be alone right now."

"Lori, we're not done talking!"

Jane heard pounding feet and she was worried. For all James had said to her during dinner, this wasn't sounding quite the way he'd made it out to be. She peeked her head around the door now, glad for the lights in the hall. James had caught Lori before the stairs, and he was hugging her. Leave it to James to comfort a woman he'd just refused. Jane knew she shouldn't be watching, but she couldn't help herself, and she strained her ears when she heard the low timbre of his voice. She could barely make out what he said next.

"If it makes you feel any better, Andy's been going nuts about you for a while... He'd treat you a lot better than I ever could, you know that."

"Yeah, but he smells horrible."

"So tell him. I'm sure if you gave him the slightest notion you were interested he'd worship every word you said to him."

"I think he already does." Lori chuckled and looked to be wiping her eyes, then she grew quiet as she stepped back, walking down the stairs without another word. When Jane saw James turning she quickly made her way back to the couch, at least sitting down. She was kicking herself for snooping like that. She knew she wouldn't like it if he did that to her. James came back after a few seconds, closing and locking the door behind him. He looked back at Jane, looking a little guilty, and generally miserable. Again.

"Is everything okay?" she asked softly. He sat down next to her, and pulled her feet into his lap. It was a little odd to her but she wouldn't say no to him right now.

"I just... I wish I could tell everyone what's going on, it'd make everything so much easier for me. And then at the same time, there'd be people trying to cut me down left and right." he rested his head on the back of the couch, letting out a heavy sigh. "I thought I'd made it clear to Lori that I wasn't interested. But I guess communication hasn't always been my best skill. I just don't know what to do." Jane scooted herself next to him and pulled her feet away to sit on them, running a hand through his short hair.

"Well that's why I'm here, aren't I? So that you and I can both figure this out." she hated it, but she knew they needed to talk before doing anything else. She swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. "James, we really need to sort things out between us before we do anything else. I think that might help the most, right now. And honestly, it's going to keep bothering me until we do."

"What is there to sort out, exactly?" he lifted his head and looked at her, much more concern on his face. Sighing, Jane turned to face him, taking a moment to make sure she was as calm as she was going to get.

"I hate asking you this, but do you really want to be in a relationship with me, or is it just out of pity because I'm pregnant?" she made sure to look him in the eye when she spoke to him, and she saw his jaw flex a little. He didn't hesitate to speak.

"Jane," it was one of the few times she'd heard him say her name, "I wouldn't have let you come here if I didn't believe that I wanted to see you because I was missing you. You know that when I commit, I commit fully. So, yeah, there might be a little part of me that's telling me not to push you into the rain because half of this is my fault, but most of me is dreading when I have to let you go back to the Citadel in a few days, because you just make everything so much better. I don't know how much you heard, just now with Lori-"

"I heard just about everything, James." there was no use in lying to him about it. But she smiled sheepishly when she said that.

"Well... I care about her, too, and if she needed me I'd be there for her. But I care about her in a way different way than I care about you, and you come before anyone else for me." he sat up a little more straight and put his hand on her knee. "I want to be with you because I care about you a lot more than I've cared about some other people. And I can't explain it perfectly, but I can try."

Jane gently slid her hand over his, holding it tight in her hand. Even if he was years younger than her, he sure spoke with a lot of heart. She thought, maybe that's why she'd been so interested in him at first. And why she still was.

"You know before I ran into you, I was pretty reckless. I think you saw that with the shuttle on Mars." he rubbed at his neck, "But you came to talk to me after that and you set me straight. It seemed like I was just following orders at the time, but after a while, I realized you'd made me take a step back and look at myself. And I didn't like where I was going."

"Was this before or after I kicked your ass on the floor?" Jane couldn't help but ask, lightening the mood a little. He chuckled.

"After. I think it was the third time."

"Hm... It was getting pretty hard, at that point. I think after the fourth time, I decided I'd better stop before I hurt one of us." she chuckled, and then realized it was her turn to talk. "At the time, I just didn't want you to have to go through anything worse than you'd already been through. I know how you felt about what happened to Toni, but you did a good job of picking yourself back up and dusting yourself off. You sort of remind me a little bit of myself, and now I just sound really old." she chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear, blushing a little.

"You're not old, you're just experienced." he said softly. She bit her tongue from letting the conversation stray. She sighed and leaned over to hug him tightly. "You've really made me realize some of the things I want out of my life, Jane. I'm not about to go throwing it away because I can't always find my way, because you showed me that sometimes you have to go in blind. And I really have no idea what we've gotten ourselves into, but I don't think this will end up bad for us. I want to be with you and see this through."

"Alright... That makes me feel a lot better about everything. It's really nice to know that I don't have to be alone anymore."

"That's the other thing," James said as he squeezed her a little, "If you need anything, just call me. I can wake up in the middle of the night if I need to. I can always come back to the training, but I can't come back to right now with you."

"You would give up training just to be with me?" she felt the burning in her eyes when she pulled back to look at him. Jane was well aware of what this training meant to him, and the fact that he was willing to put it aside for her spoke volumes. He could speak to her all he wanted, but she never believed anyone if their actions didn't match up to what they said.

"If you needed me that bad, I would. And don't sit there and tell me that the training is more important because you and I both know it's not."

"If you could hear what you're saying four months ago..." she laughed lightly, letting a tear fall down her cheek as she pressed against him again.

"I'd probably be laughing my ass off, and denying I had any feelings towards you at all." James smiled, kissing the top of her head. She closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "What is it?"

"I feel bad, now."

"Why?"

"Because, I took your shirt off and you didn't get anything out of it except two really heavy conversations."

"I think I already owe you a couple favors." he grunted, grabbing her by the ass and shifting to stand up. She grinned and wrapped her legs and arms around him. He turned off the light in the living room, and headed for the bedroom, not bothering to turn a light on until she was laid down gently on the bed. For good measure, he shut the bedroom door and laid down next to Jane, propping himself up on his elbow. "So, what'll it be tonight?"

"My back is still a little sore from the shuttle ride, and it might be hard for me to sleep tonight. Think you could help with that?" she smiled, knowing it wasn't his favorite thing in the world, or the most appealing, but he nodded and sat up with her, helping her with her shirt, looking a little hesitant when he reached around to help with her bra. She knew that her breasts had grown just a little already, but when the bra came off, she could feel the weight difference. And apparently James could see it as well.

"Uh..."

"Out with it." she sighed with a smile, knowing what he'd say and moving to lay on her stomach.

"Are those going to stay?" he chuckled, putting his hands on her back and gently applying the right amount of pressure against her muscles.

"Well yes and no." she smiled and looked up at him the best she could. "I've been told they'll get a little bigger, and with most women they tend to stay the same size."

"How much bigger, exactly? Ow!" she'd smacked him in the leg, just a little tired of him reminding her how much he let his tongue wag, but glad that he was only that way around her. Besides, he could be asking worse questions than that.

"Probably one cup size." she groaned as he popped her back, closing her eyes at the feeling of the pressure being released. He made a noise of interest, but didn't say much else. She could only imagine what was running through his mind right now. While they were on the subject, she figured she could slip her idea past him, and see what he thought.

"So when I do go back, I have a few appointments I'm supposed to go to. Mom already said she couldn't go, and I don't really want to go by myself." she started, waiting to hear his reaction. His hand slipped to her waist and she groaned again as he popped her lower back, gently loosening the muscles in that area.

"I'm guessing you want me stay here..?"

"Yeah... But would you feel… weird if I took someone else with me? One of our friends?"

"Who did you have in mind?"

Jane had to think for a minute. Only James, Jane's mother, and Chakwas knew she was pregnant right now. Preferably, she'd have liked to take someone who would be there for support, and would be willing to go to every appointment thereafter. And that was only a handful of people. Definitely, she didn't want James to feel like he was being replaced, but for some reason...

"Liara? She's been there for me before, and she's really good at making sure he knows exactly what's going on. Not to mention she's good at keeping secrets."

"Yeah? I mean, would you be comfortable with that?"

"I think so... The only other person I could think of would be Kaidan, but I think that might be a little awkward for him, considering our past."

"Then ask. It's up to you, Jane. Just don't keep me in the dark, that's my only request." He sighed and paused for a moment, his voice growing quiet. "Or maybe I should just go back with you."

"James, you don't need to come back with me right away." she sat up a little, and faced him. "Take a little bit to think about it." she then realized that while they were talking about what she'd planned, she hadn't even asked the most important question yet.

"You're going to ask me something big." he narrowed his eyes when she was silent. "I can tell, because you have that look on your face."

"I haven't even asked if this is what you want. I just keep assuming." she buried her face in her hands, curling up with her knees to her bare chest. She was a total wreck right now, having to face all these things at once, and knowing there wasn't much time to deal with them. She hadn't even wanted to deal with them tonight, and now everything had been laid on the table before her.

"Are you... Asking me if I want a baby?" he clarified slowly. She looked up through red eyes and nodded, before she took several deep breaths to calm herself, hugging her legs. She felt like a wreck, and he was showing no emotion whatsoever. He moved and sat behind her, his arms wrapping around hers, both of his legs stretched out on either side of hers. His skin was hot, and it felt really good on her cold back. She felt him press his mouth to her shoulder blade, his nose resting on the top of her shoulder. He didn't say anything else and it actually made her feel relieved. She figured he was really thinking about it. After about ten minutes she'd reduced herself to sniffles, and she laid her hands over his arms. He hadn't moved.

"James, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Okay." she settled against him more, and eventually he went back to giving her a gentle shoulder massage that practically put her to sleep. He'd stopped to motion her to get her things and bring them into the room. She grabbed her two bags and had pulled out a loose shirt to wear to bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, and noticed that James was still looking very distant. "James, if you need to go for a run, or something, I won't mind."

"I don't need to run." he cleared his throat and looked to her like he was trying to relax on the bed, kicking his shoes off.

Jane turned back to take off her jeans, folding them up and putting them in the bag so they wouldn't be in the way. She climbed into the bed and pulled the blankets over herself, still looking at him. Now, she was beginning to get worried. But she was in need of sleep so she sunk down and nestled into the pillow, keeping her back to the lamp that was turned on. She felt the bed shift as James got up, and she fidgeted a bit, struggling to get to sleep. The lamp that was turned on was too bright for the room, and she wished she could turn it off. She heard it click, and she noticed it got darker, even as her eyes were closed. James had changed his clothes silently, and now he was laying underneath the blanket with Jane at his front, curling his arm around her and kissing at the back of her head.

"Jane, are you still awake?"

"Mhm." she put her hand on top of his, and laced her fingers through his, noticing he'd moved it to rest over her stomach.

"I don't think this is quite how I imagined everything to be going, but it's definitely something I want to go through with." he paused and she felt him rest his cheek on her head, his voice very soft when he spoke again. "I want to have a baby with you, Jane."

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Me too."

He rocked her gently, putting her to sleep in a matter of minutes. Now that they'd taken care of the big issues, Jane could relax and try to enjoy the rest of her visit. And maybe tomorrow she'd shoot off a message to Liara to see how she felt about being a stand-in for James while he stayed at the Villa. While she slept, she had no dreams, but slept as sound as she ever had, probably better than the past few weeks, what with the excitement and anxiety of seeing James keeping her awake.

She woke up just as it seemed to be getting light outside, but she didn't feel rested like she should have felt. Instead she gently brushed James' hand off of her and quickly made her way to the bathroom, shutting the door so she wouldn't wake him up. Her stomach was churning and she sat on the floor next to the toilet for the longest time, sweating a little as she waited for something to come up. She was glad that nothing did, because when she walked out, after her stomach had calmed down, James was sitting up, looking like he had been about to go in there.

"You okay?" he mumbled. She nodded and wiped the sweat from her head with a sigh.

"Yeah I'm okay. I'm still a little tired, though." Jane walked over to sit on the bed, not sure if she wanted to sleep for real, or just lay down. He put his arm around her and brushed some of her hair from her face.

"Do you need anything? Or want anything?" he asked. She nearly rolled her eyes but she knew why he was treating her like a child and she felt like if she didn't say something she might hurt his feelings. She could take care of herself right now.

"Could you get me a cold towel for my head?"

"Sure." he stood up and let her be. She laid back down on the bed, finding that his pillow was more comfortable than hers right now. Closing her eyes she tried to relax, and she jumped when she felt the cold towel on her head. She opened her eyes and James was sitting down in front of her, smiling. She smiled back and took his hand.

"Thanks James." She blushed a little when he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"If you need anything else I'll be out in the other room, okay?"

"Okay." she closed her eyes again, and felt him leave. And for once it was okay that he wasn't right beside her.


	7. Ride Home

Their time had come to a close, unfortunately. Jane was trying her hardest not to cry when they walked through the space port, his hand holding hers tightly. They stopped just outside the gate and he put her one bag down, pulling her close so she could let it out. They had more than a few minutes before she had to leave, so they were going to take their time.

"Just remember you can call me. For anything." he muttered into her hair. She was shaking, and trying to make herself let go. But it was proving to be harder by the minute, and while Jane knew it wouldn't be forever, she didn't want to be away from him again. There was something about being near him that just calmed her nerves, and made her feel normal despite being anything but.

"I'll try to call you after I talk with Liara." she said softly when she finally broke away, hardly able to look him in the eye. The whole trip, she hadn't heard back, and it was a little annoying. At least she knew where Liara was staying, these days.

"You'll be fine, Jane." he smiled, handing her bag over to her. She took it and nodded, turning around slowly to walk away. She kept telling herself to look forward, because she knew if she didn't, she'd miss the shuttle, and then she'd never leave. So that's what she did. Jane kept walking forward, and when she was on the shuttle, she kept her eyes glued to her hands as they fidgeted, for most of the duration of the ride to London.

When she reached London, she forced herself to walk around while she was waiting for the next shuttle to the Citadel to get ready. It was an hour and half delay, unfortunately. All she could think about was what would happen when she got back. Likely, there would have to be a call to her mother, and then another to Liara. The problem was figuring out which call would be easier to make right away.

With her mother, there would be a thousand questions that would be answered if Jane could properly explain, though that would likely be impossible. But the hard conversation was already dealt with between them, and so that in its own way would make things easier. And at the end of the day, she knew that her mother would be there, even if she said she wasn't going to be of much help. Advice was never wasted with Jane. Now, with Liara, the two had been friends for long enough that there was an endless list of topics they could discuss comfortably. She wasn't sure if child-bearing was on that list, or if she was allowed to ask favors of the caliber she was intending. But Liara had always seemed to come around, and support Jane, even if she wasn't terribly convinced it was a good idea.

The shuttle was boarding now, and Jane was the first one on board. She took the same seat she'd had the last time, and was glad that the child who sat behind her looked old enough to know better than to make a fuss. Maybe about 9 or 10 years old. That gave her some peace of mind, as she continued mulling over who to call, and even what she might say. Particularly to Liara. A simple "hey, how's it going" would surely lead the conversation where she didn't want it to go, while being upfront might scare the asari off. While she was thinking she hadn't noticed who happened to sit beside her. At least not until there was a tap on her forearm - something that was very shocking on its own. She looked up and had to keep from yelling.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she chuckled, keeping her voice down enough so she wouldn't disturb the others. Something she was glad for - attention was best to be kept away from her.

"Came to visit my family," Kaidan smiled and wrapped her in a hug as he leaned over. They hadn't spoken to each other for a while. "What are you doing here?"

"I um... I came to see the ceremony for training graduates at the Villa. So I guess I was mostly visiting James." she chuckled, leaning back with a little blush and tucking her hair behind her ear. Did he know?

"How is he doing? I haven't seen him since..." Kaidan paused, thinking about it and dropping his tone when he spoke again, clearly disappointed, "I guess I haven't seen him since the end of the war."

"He's doing great." she smiled, but swallowed thickly, suddenly realizing this would be a very long ride, and filled with few words from her. "He's doing great." she said quieter, looking back down at her hands. She felt his hand fall on her shoulder and she looked back up.

"You look like you have a little black rain cloud sitting over your head." he spoke softly and she couldn't help but smile.  _ That _ conversation had been a long time ago.

"That's not entirely inaccurate." she hummed and leaned a little more towards him, "I'm sorry I just... There is something bothering me, but I'm not entirely comfortable talking about it to anyone."

"I see." he nodded and took his hand away, since she was closer. They were quiet until the shuttle had passed Saturn. "Do you mind if I ask you something a bit uh… personal?"

"Not at all." she had been startled out of her thoughts, but she wasn't about to turn him away. The company was a nice change.

"This is about a while back… I feel like at that party you had at the apartment, any time you weren't walking around and talking with everyone, or getting drinks..." he paused, and looked at her, a little smile on his face, "You two were pretty close already, but it seemed like you were a lot closer, back then."

"What are you trying to ask me?" she smirked, already knowing but wanting to hear it.

"Did you two have a thing?" he finally said. She grinned and laughed lightly with him. It was a simple question, but the implications of it were pretty intense. He laughed as well, and looked like he was about to take it back when she spoke.

"If by 'a thing' you mean we went out on an unofficial date, and found we liked each other's company, then yes. We had-... Have a thing." she had to remember what James had told her the first night she'd been there. It had been very emotional and endearing to her.

"Have?" he tilted his head forward, eyebrows a little higher than usual, from surprise.

"Have." she nodded, a shy smile on her face. 

“That's good. I'm happy for you two.” Kaidan said rather quiet. She watched him slowly nod and sit back up, clearly thinking about it some, but he looked genuinely happy for her. That's all she could have asked for from an ex-lover. She was glad he hadn’t brought up the fact she had been absent from Chakwas' party a few months back. And then with the same thought, she remembered his birthday had been a few weeks ago as well. She felt terrible and resolved that she would have to do something to fix that.

As they went through the relay, Jane was beginning to feel ready to sleep. She'd pushed her seat to lay back some, content that it had been fixed, and she closed her eyes. Kaidan hadn't said much else to her for the remainder of the trip, but she did admit it went much faster having someone to talk to, and play cards with. It was a little difficult sitting side by side, until Jane discovered she could put her back to the window. Not once did they talk about the past, unless it was to recall something stupidly hilarious that had happened - most incidents involving Jeff, or someone they'd encountered on the Citadel, and she was very appreciative of the fact that Kaidan was respecting she didn't want to talk about herself at the time. He really was a sweet guy, and part of her felt bad for some of the times she'd treated him badly. And while she was off the table for discussion, she was hounding him with personal questions near the end of the trip.

"Worst date you've ever had." she grinned, waiting for his response. Things had gone from what was his favorite animal to this in only a matter of hours.

"You remember me talking to you about that doctor on the Citadel?" he said, blushing a little when she laughed.

"What was her name again? Nicole? Or was it Natalie?"

"Nicole. Well... We went to this bar - or rather she pulled me into it - and I wasn't really listening all that well when she was talking about how bad her day was. It's a terrible thing to do, but like I told you, I was just talked into it, I wasn't serious about her." he cleared his throat, leaning closer, "It was pretty interesting when I did start listening to her talk, though. She was going on and on about how much she hated one of her biotic patients, obviously unaware of who I was. She didn't sound too friendly towards biotics of any kind, going on about how we're 'freaks of nature' and how we're the cause of  _ so  _ many hospital visitations. Well a few minutes later she was running out screaming because I had, shall we say,  _ accidentally  _ lifted her glass, and left it suspended in the air until she noticed it wasn't where she'd set it down a few minutes prior." Jane couldn't help but laugh, knowing that it was already a horrible thing to not listen on a first date. But when he mentioned why she'd run away, she couldn't help but nearly double over, doing her best not to cackle. She took a few minutes to catch her breath.

"Oh my god, Kaidan, that's so horrible."

"You never said it had to be the worst date on my end. I did apologize to her, later" he was chuckling at her, waiting for her to ask another question. Though, after that Jane wasn't sure she wanted to ask anything else. She decided to try, anyway.

"Alright..." she searched for something that could possibly top that, when something sparked in her mind, "Who was that girl you were talking to before we left on shore leave all that time ago?"

"Why, are you jealous?" he grinned, nudging her. He then straightened out and lowered his voice again, "She was the daughter of my neighbors, we sort of grew up together. I was surprised to see her and I was determined to talk to her to see if she knew anything about where my dad had run off to."

"What happened to him anyway?"

"He got separated from his unit, and laid low until everything smoothed over. They found him near a lake, in an underground bunker he'd found. He hadn't eaten or slept for a few days so he was in the hospital for a couple weeks, and he was released when I arrived. I don't think I've ever seen mom that relieved." Kaidan's eyes were downcast, now. So Jane tried coming up with something to take his mind off of it, but suddenly they were only an hour away from the Citadel.

"What are you going to do when you get back?"

"I'll probably report back in to the Council. You know, tell them that I'm ready to go back out whenever they need me." he shrugged. "I might catch up with a few friends. What about you?"

"Hmph. I need to call my mom to talk to her. And I also need to call Liara. I hope she's still on the Citadel, she said she would be."

"Liara?"

"Yeah. I just need to ask her a few questions, and I'm hoping she'll have what I'm looking for." Jane lied to his face. She felt horrible about it, but Jane had a feeling that Kaidan would find out the truth one way or another.

"I was going to go see her first, actually. Do you want to come with me?"

"Oh, no. That's fine, thank you." she said quickly, looking away. She felt as though she'd said something she wasn't supposed to and didn't feel as inclined to talk to him anymore.

"Jane," he started softly after a few minutes, "If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here. It's not good to hold things in."

"I know. And thank you." she said softly, closing her eyes for a bit. It would be night time on the Citadel, and she knew she needed to call her mom first thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in updating everyone. I hope you've all been enjoying yourselves, and I assure you that I have been writing. I might be slower to update, but I'll do my best. I appreciate all the feedback, and kudos. Every time I get an email it makes me smile and gives me warm fuzzies. Keep at it, and I hope you all have a wonderful new year!


	8. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane comes back home, and deals with the two conversations she's been dreading.

Once the shuttle had landed, Jane and Kaidan parted, promising to meet up for lunch, or for a drink some time. She hung back to call her mom, while she waited for a cab to take her home.

"Hello."

"Hi mom. I just got back to the Citadel, I thought I'd let you know." Jane said, feeling the energy start to drain out of her as she walked to the street.

"How was the trip? Did you have some fun?"

"Yeah, I had a nice time. I caught up with some old friends from the Villa, and I guess there were a couple ceremonies, too."

"Sounds like you had a nice time, then." her mom paused, "So how was... I'm sorry, I forgot his name."

"James." she said, "He was doing really great, he was actually promoted to N1, already. So he was pretty happy about that, when I showed up."

"He's only been in training for a few months, hasn't he?"

"They've taken into consideration previous effort from the war. And since he was with me, there was a lot of it put into consideration." she felt bad that it almost looked like she was boosting his performance just by name. Though, it wasn't like he wasn't working hard.

"Sounds like he's made quite the impression, then."

"Yeah, I guess so." she smiled, silence filling the line.

"I guess I should ask about how your talk with him went." her mother sounded less than pleased, and hardly optimistic.

"He took a while to think on it when I asked him if he even wanted to have a baby. And we decided we're going to work through this and make the best of the situation." she made sure to keep her voice down in such a crowded area, giving up on the cab and going to find a rental that she could take home. "He also wants to keep going with his training, until it's a little closer to the due date when we find that out. Which I'm fine with. We figured as long as we keep in touch and keep talking, there shouldn't be any problem with him continuing to train."

"That's a tough decision to make. Be glad that there's a high chance he'll still be alive when the time comes." her mother said. Jane was well aware what that was supposed to mean, and it dug a hole in her stomach, to think that her dad had made the same promise to her mother. Then again, they'd been wanting a baby, and had discussed matters beforehand. But it didn't hurt any less to think about it.

"James also said he wanted to talk to you, on his own. So I told him I'd give you fair warning, and then he could call when he was available."

"Why does he want to talk to me?"

"Something about being on good terms if we're all going to be in the same space?" she paused, "I think that means he's assuming you'll want to be there when-" he breath suddenly caught. She couldn't even say it, the whole situation was just so unreal. Suddenly she became light headed and she remembered she needed to keep breathing. Luckily her mom was very good at filling in the blanks.

"That's entirely up to you, sweetheart. There's plenty of time for the two of us to get to know each other, and for you to decide what you want." her tone was very heartfelt. Jane was putting her two bags in the rental car, and she finally sat down inside, glad for the quiet when she listened to what her mom had to say next. "I was thinking about what I said to you when we talked about this the first time, and I realized that what I said was… Well it was nothing less than rude, and unlike how I would react in any other situation. So, Jane... If you need anything you let me know. I'll do my best to help because like it or not I'm your mother and I still get to take care of you. And… This baby is going to be my family. I shouldn't turn my back on it."

"Thanks mom... That means a lot to me."

"I know." there was a pause and Jane started the car. "I should let you go, it's late. I'll come by tomorrow and we can have lunch."

"Sounds good. Love you, mom."

"I love you too, sweetie."

The end of the call left Jane in silence as she drove to go back home. The silence was welcome because it gave her more than enough time to think about what she had to do next. Mainly, that meant finding out when Liara would be available next, without Kaidan interrupting the meeting. It had to be confidential, and she was sure that Liara would do anything to make sure no one else knew once it had been set up.

Walking back into the apartment just a few minutes later was one of the best feelings. The whole area smelled exactly how she remembered, and it was just as messy as she'd left it. In fact, there was still a pair of pants laying on the floor in the hall from when Jane had rushed from the couch to the shower, realizing she'd only had a few minutes to shower before she left. Chuckling, she bent over to pick it up. At least she had been chuckling until her back popped loudly.

“Sonofa-” she bit her tongue, standing upright slowly and leaning against the wall until the pain ebbed away. She let out a heavy sigh and headed to her bedroom, deciding to just go to sleep now while she had the urge to do so. After about ten minutes she was laying in bed, and as sound asleep as she could be after having gotten used to having James behind her. She took the extra pillows on her bed and arranged them behind her back, thinking that might help some. It did just the trick.

When she woke up the next morning, she felt considerably refreshed and went quickly to go check her messages. She had two unread messages and she was relieved to see one, and a little miffed at the other. She replied to her mother, now knowing where to go for lunch, and glad to get to see her again.

Liara said she wanted to come over in the afternoon, to catch up a little. Jane appreciated that, but was wary. She hadn't said whether or not she'd be alone, or why there was such sudden cause to catch up. Maybe she had gotten word, somehow, and wanted to see if the information was true? Jane couldn't say, but she replied with a time that would be best for her, even offering to go out for dinner if that ended up working for them both. She also mentioned that she was still recovering from her trip, and made an apology in advance for her being tired.

She sighed and sat at the console for a few minutes before she got up to shower. It felt so good to just stand there in the warm water, and had her legs not started to grow tired, she would have stayed in longer. But her hair had been washed, along with the rest of her body, so she had at least done what she'd meant to do. As she stepped out of the bathroom in her towel, the cold hit her and she was suddenly determined to put clothes on, and curl up in a blanket. She could watch another movie until her mother came to get her.

Settled in comfortably on the couch, with everything she might need around her in easy reach, she started the movie and quickly lost track of time.

Her omni-tool lit up about ten minutes before the movie was about to end. She glanced over and saw it was her mother calling. She paused the movie to pick up the call.

“Hey mom.”

“Hi sweetheart. I'm just leaving, so I'll be a few minutes late.”

“That's alright. I'm just finishing up a movie. I'll see you soon, then.”

“See you soon.”

The call ended and Jane resumed the movie, sighing lightly. Of course her mother would be late. She probably wasn't just leaving, it was more likely that she'd run into someone, or that she'd stopped to get something. Jane just hoped it wasn't something child-related. Where would she put something like that? The next few minutes she didn't even pay attention to the movie, her mind rattling through hundreds of questions about what her mom was actually doing. Then the title screen came back up and she turned off the vid screen, and turned the lights back on so she could clean up her area a bit. Suddenly she felt sick and went into the bathroom, knowing her mom would just let herself in, anyway.

It was the dry heaving again. It made her feel more sick that she really was. When she caught a break she tried to at least drink some water. That actually seemed to calm her stomach, so she took another tentative sip. There was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Sweetheart, are you alright?”

“I think so. I think I might want to stay in here a couple more minutes just to be sure.”

There was silence for a moment.

“Can I come in?” Hannah's voice was softer.

“Yeah.” she said, closing her eyes and leaning back against the sink. The door opened and Jane glanced over. Her mother looked like she hadn't slept much, lately. But the cast on her arm was now just a bandage. Jane smiled a little bit.

“What's so funny?”

“You're asking me if I'm alright when you look like you haven't gotten a good night's rest for a week.”

“I've been dealing with a lot of things lately, yes.” Hannah smiled and they gave each other a hug. Jane stayed put for a few more minutes and she sighed.

“Alright, I think it passed. I'm fine, we can go.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I'm sure.” she smiled to her mom and they both walked out of the apartment just minutes later, getting into the familiar car. “Where are we going?”

“I thought we'd just get something to go and find someplace in the park. How does that sound?”

“Depends on what we get to eat.” she chuckled, going quiet as she looked out the window. She knew that her mother wanted to talk to her, but Hannah had to be the one to speak. Maybe that was why they were going to the park. They could be alone without looking like they were needing privacy. The other benefit was that they could easily pick out any possible media crews without having to look in every bush. There were hardly places to hide in a park where someone wouldn't see them.

So, the silence continued until the car stopped outside one of the last places on the Citadel to get freshly fried food. Jane gave her mom a dirty look, but her look cracked into a smile and they both laughed. They could have one day where they indulged themselves. After this meal, Jane would make herself eat healthier, though not necessarily cutting out the things she loved. A cookie here and there would hardly kill her, she knew that much.

They got their food and went to the nearest park. Jane picked out a spot right on the water under a small tree. The spot reminded her of a story she would always read as a child, of a girl who had a tree next to a pond. The girl would sit there every day, and Jane had always wanted a place like that to play in, and not a giant metal container flying through space. Someday, she would tell herself, she was going to get the nicest house she could find planet side, and she would put a pond in the backyard with a tree right next to it so that her daughter could have some place to sit every day.

As they ate in silence for the first few minutes, Jane casually looked around, humming softly. There was a small laugh from her mother, and Jane turned her gaze.

“And here I thought you'd broken that habit.”

“Well, that habit has saved my life a few times, thank you very much.” she smiled. 

It was a little sad, but entirely true. After Eden Prime, she'd spent the next couple weeks mindlessly humming herself to sleep. Then after Virmire it happened again. Kaidan had even been put to sleep by it on a few occasions. Then there was nearly every incident with the Collectors, and since she'd had to leave Earth, it had become her safety blanket. And she was glad it was something that she could take with her everywhere – it gave her confidence.

“You've always been a little odd, haven't you?” Hannah grinned, meaning to tease her daughter more than insult her.

“Just a little.”

“At least you've made me a proud mother.”

“Even with what's going on now?”

“Jane, if I had been placed in your shoes, I never could have had the courage to go through with it. Not without knowing I had something stable.” there was a sigh, “Then again, I practically had to with your father being gone so often.”

Of course after that mention Hannah grew terribly silent. Jane reached out to give her mom a tight hug.

“You know I'm grateful for everything you've given me, right? I had a lot more than some of the other kids, and their parents were around quite a bit more than you were, just because I knew you were glad to have every moment with me that you could get.”

“I know. I still want every moment I can get with you.” Hannah laughed lightly, petting Jane's hair as she rested her head on Hannah's shoulder. Then, she cleared her throat. “So, tell me more about your visit.”

“It was really hot there.” Jane said, both chuckling. She sat upright again and began talking more calmly with her mom, going into greater detail about most everything that had happened. She deserved to at least know the bulk of the conversations that mattered. And Hannah was quiet, just letting Jane talk, only asking a question when she needed to. It had been a long time since they'd had a conversation this smooth, and Jane was so happy that they could talk like this. When she finished her mother appeared to be distant, likely thinking.

“It's good that he thought about it for a while before giving you an answer. I'd be a little worried if he'd just said something without actually thinking.”

“James is a smart guy. And like I said, he intends to follow through.” She started picking at a small piece of lint on her pants that had been bothering her.

“Well, he still has yet to call me. But I'm sure I'll have a nice chat with him when he does. I trust him if you do.”

“Thanks mom.”

“I should get you back home soon.” she sighed, “As usual, I have things to do. But you can call if you need anything, and I'll be there as soon as I can.”

They headed back to the car, and Jane was smiling softly the whole way back. She gave her mom a final hug before going inside, and when she did get there, she went back to her console, glad to see there was a reply from Liara. She would be coming in a few hours. Great, she had some time to think about the best way to approach this situation. Maybe she'd let Liara explain why she wanted to see her, first, and go from there. That seemed best.

Jane looked at her living room and decided it could be cleaned up more. She pulled out the vacuum and ran it over the carpet until she was satisfied with how it looked. She didn't actually know if anything had been picked up but it looked cleaner, at least. Jane sat on the couch for a while to rest, and played a few games on her omni-tool. When there was a knock on the door, she stood up. She smiled the moment she saw Liara – especially when she saw her alone.

“It's been a while since we've talked.” Jane said, inviting her inside and shutting the door behind her.

“It has been a while, yes. How have you been? I was a little worried when I didn't see you at the party last month.”

“If I'm remembering correctly, I wasn't feeling too well that week.” she said with a light chuckle. “I felt bad about not going, but I didn't want to go unless I was feeling like myself.”

“I understand.”

“So,” she sighed, “any reason you decided to come see me just now?”

“Joker was talking with me last week. He said you might be feeling well enough to have company again, and I've been wanting to come see you for some time. To talk, I suppose.”

“We can talk.” Jane grinned, telling Liara to sit while she grabbed a sweater. It was suddenly much colder to her. She came back and sat down in her usual spot. Liara sat down in one of the chairs, but looked fairly comfortable.

“How has work been for you?” Jane started as she got comfortable.

“It hasn't changed much. And, if I'm being perfectly honest with you, someone managed to catch the call you made to James a few weeks ago. I made sure that person kept quiet, and I am the only one besides that person and those you haven't told that knows you're pregnant.”

Jane's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes closed before she could even process what she'd just heard. That was a punch in the gut, but she could trust Liara. She heard Liara move and felt a hand on her back.

“I wanted to tell you this in person. And you know I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to. I suspect this is something you want to tell people yourself, so I won't interfere with that. Especially not when the only source I have is a very private call.”

Jane managed to catch her breath, and open her eyes. She nodded and slowly started to gain feeling in her body again. This definitely explained a lot.

“Thank you for keeping this to yourself... I...” she was at a loss for words, so she simply turned to give her a hug. She pulled herself away and smiled a little. “I was actually going to tell you one way or another.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah. See... James wants to keep going with his training, at least until it gets closer to when the baby should be born. I don't have a problem with it, but... I'd like to have someone other than my mom go with me to all my appointments.” she chuckled lightly, “Seeing as you're so good at keeping secrets, I figured you might not mind. But this is entirely up to you.” Jane was so nervous about this, but somehow she was relieved that she didn't have to explain everything.

“If that's what you want. I assume you talked about this with James when you went to see him?”

“I did. He seemed more at ease with the idea that someone could look after me for him.” she chuckled and looked down at her hands. “And, he knows you, so that doesn't hurt.”

“I'm glad you two were able to work it out. You spent so much time together... I don't know, I suppose I was thinking that this was bound to happen as some point.”

“Really?”

“I wasn't the only one, you know.” Liara laughed, “Practically everyone was wondering if you two would ever stop dodging the inevitable.”

“Thanks, that's really great.” Jane smirked, sitting back a little bit. They were quiet for a while. “So. Now that I've gotten that hurdle out of the way, what do we do now?”


	9. Pre-Party

Jane wasn't entirely looking forward to this party that Liara had insisted she invite everyone to. James had been able to get a considerable amount of time off, and he was going to be arriving tonight. The party was tomorrow, thankfully. But it was a birthday party, and she wasn't very inclined to have one, especially given how old she would be turning. She was going through with it, just so Liara would back off. She'd taken her role as temporary caretaker quite seriously, and had made Jane force herself to be in the company of others. Not necessarily to talk to them about what was going on, but to make sure she didn't hole up again. For that alone, Jane was thankful Liara was there.

This party was going to be her way of socializing. As well as letting everyone know what was going on now that so much had been settled on, and there really wasn't any turning back. Not to mention they were all her friends, and deserving to know of this huge life event. It was only going to get harder to hide, especially when she was now four and a half months along, and beginning to show a prominent baby bump. She'd even seen a few magazines with photos of her, asking if she was indeed pregnant. They didn't seem to be selling very well, though.

Part of her actually liked that she was starting to show. She'd found out that the more she accepted it, the more willing she was to go without hiding. Overall, it had stopped all the staring she had been so worried about before. So, she could say she was happier than before on some level. Though the other part of her was beginning to realize how much of a burden this was going to be on her body, and mind, even if what she felt now wasn't even going to compare to later. She didn't know if she was really ready for this. But, as Liara and her mother had told her, it was perfectly fine to feel that way. She had the support and resources she needed.

For now, Jane was waiting eagerly for James to call and tell her he'd landed. It was hard to keep track of all the shuttles coming in, so she'd opted for waiting out by the car for now, away from the crowds. Before he left, he said he'd expected to land about half an hour ago, but she wasn't surprised that there had been a delay. It was busier today than it had been in the past. She glanced down to look at the time and sighed. Maybe she would go wait by the docking bays.

On her way, she got a message that simply read "E19". She smiled, and turned to head towards the docking area. Level E was typically reserved for civilian transport, and she wasn't surprised. Usually bays 15 through 25 were shuttles specifically from Earth. So she would likely be around plenty of humans for the time being. That made her more comfortable, because she could more easily hide herself.

Right as she entered the waiting area, she saw the shuttle pull in and dock. A good ten minutes later, people began pouring out. Jane stood back from the crowd, and waited for it to start dispersing. James would probably be the last one off, anyway. For the time, she watched as families greeted each other, along with a few business people rushing off on their omni-tools. It was such a typical scene to watch. So, five minutes later when all that commotion had ceased, she walked up, and sure enough he was just stepping off. She stepped forward a little bit to make it easier for him to spot her, but she knew it wasn't necessary, for several reasons. He walked towards her with that big grin on his face and gave her a tight hug. She'd conveniently forgotten how nice it was to be the recipient of one of his bear hugs until just now.

"You look like you're doing well." he said when he stepped back. She'd made him promise that he wouldn't draw any attention to them. Apparently he took that to mean no obvious displays of affection, which she was more than okay with for now. She would make up for it later.

"It's been a lot easier to take care of myself, now that Liara's taken charge of what I'll do and when I'll do it." she chuckled. Not that she wasn't grateful, it was just a lot to adjust to. "How's training been going?" she asked, holding her hand out to take the backpack from him as they started walking back. He shook his head, perfectly fine with carrying his own things, apparently. Though he did take her hand in his own.

"It's gotten just a little harder, but that's about as much as I expected from getting promoted." he shrugged, and then gave her a little bit of a smug look. "They said as long as I keep training while I'm here, I should have no problem getting up to N3 next month."

"Already?"

"Mhm. I told you I could do it." he nudged her with his elbow and she laughed.

"I never said you couldn't, James. I'm really proud of you."

She led him to the car, and let him put his things in the back as she sat down in the driver's seat. Just a few moments later he was sitting next to her. They were quiet until they got back to her apartment. His bags had barely hit the floor before they were wrapped up in each other, desperate to make up for whatever time they'd lost. She was stepping backwards rapidly and found herself falling back against the couch, giggling when James fell on top of her, never breaking the kiss until he decided her neck was better suited for his lips. She closed her eyes with a happy sigh, running her fingers through his short hair.

"I missed you a lot more than I thought I did, apparently." she smiled, glad to see his eyes when he finally looked up, scooting them both to lay properly on the couch, instead of on the arm of it.

"Glad to know I'm not the only one." his hand ran over her hair and she took it, pulling it above her head just to hold his hand. He met her lips with his, and she melted into the cushions of the couch for a moment.

"Tell me more about how your training has been going." Jane hummed with closed eyes.

"Nothing new to tell you." he shrugged. "A couple of the others got to go on some missions with some higher ranking operatives. They came back with a lot of injuries."

"You'll be more careful than that, won't you?"

"I can't make any promises, but you know I won't crash any shuttles." he chuckled.

"Not after the talking-to I gave you." she grinned, eyes opening up again. Jane then leaned upward to kiss him softly. Her lips parted from his after another minute or two, and he sat up carefully near her feet, still facing her and sideways on the couch, to which she sat up as well. Though, she wasn't nearly sitting as much as she was straddling. She was in a considerably good mood right now, and she'd never been good with being subtle. She hoped he'd feel up to being close with her, again, after his trip. Jane had missed him quite a bit.

"Right now?" he laughed a little as his hands grazed her hips, after she'd given a gentle roll.

"It's either now or having to find some excuse when Liara comes to check up on me in about three hours." she said between the kisses she planted over the tattoo on his neck. The firm grip on her hips told her that he'd made up his mind.

"Is your bed still soft?"

"Why don't you find out?" her grin was wicked and in a moment she was swept up in his arms, carried off to her bed.

Along the way they left a trail of their clothes: first their shirts, then his pants, followed by her now too-small bra. Once they reached her room, the door was left half open as her pants were tossed onto the floor. She'd been set down on the bed but James had been pulled to lay down quickly from Jane's sudden fit of passion. If he'd still been clothed, it all would have been ripped off, no doubt. She rolled him onto his back, and then straddled him and bent down to continue their kiss, when James placed his hand calmly on her forearm. Jane paused and looked at him.

"It's okay to slow down, Lola." he smiled at her. She could tell he was a little relieved when she heeded his words, forcing herself to calm down, allowing the kiss to grow deeper in the slowed state.

Now, she could feel his hand moving up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. His hand continued to trail down her back, until slipped underneath her panties to remove them. She was more than compliant to shift to help him. Jane was also glad that he didn't seem to be worried about doing something wrong, so he seemed to be more confident about himself. She didn't wait for him to finish to remove his last layer. And after that Jane was surprised one last time by James gently flipping her on her back, kissing her neck. Her eyes shut as she let herself go, trying to just enjoy this because she knew that's what she wanted. If she was honest with herself, all she ever wanted was to enjoy her time with James. They only had so much of it right now, and it was time that couldn't be made up for again.

"I love you." he said quietly, right in her ear. She felt her breath stop on it's way in, and she grinned as her arms wrapped around him to hold him close.

"Say that again." she said softly, followed by a small gasp as he entered her. And he did just as she asked several times as they made love, slowly. He made sure that she was comfortable the whole time, what with them needing to adjust several times. She hadn't thought that much would change, but with how seemingly numb she was in certain spots, they had to figure things out all over again. He was really taking his time to make sure that she was enjoying herself as much as possible. The pure focus on her from James only added to the pleasure she felt when she at long last reached her release, James following not long after her. It was almost better than she remembered their first time being. What surprised her the most was how long James had been able to hold himself back, waiting on her. As they both lay panting beside each other, Jane on her back and James on his stomach, she closed her eyes and let her head rest on his shoulder with a smile.

"I love you, too, James." she sighed. He threw his arm around her middle, pulling her close so that their sides were touching. He made an effort to plant his lips on her cheek as she pulled up the blanket, before relaxing to fall asleep. She watched his face for a bit before she began to succumb to sleep as well. A light afternoon nap wouldn't hurt either of them.


	10. A Taste of Domesticity

She woke up not much later, and found Liara smiling, sitting on the edge of the bed. Jane couldn’t help but take in a sharp breath from the surprise of it.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll wait in the living room for you to get dressed.” She said, standing up and walking out of the bedroom.

Jane huffed and laid flat for a moment, before peeling James’ arm off her body so she could get up. She smiled when he rolled over, snoring softly – they hadn’t exactly taken things very slow, all things considered. The least she could do was let him rest more, especially before tomorrow. In the meantime, Jane pulled her clothes back on, glad that most of it had been contained to the bedroom. That could have been majorly embarrassing, otherwise. So when she pulled her shirt over her head, she headed out to the living room, smiling.

“Sorry, I probably could have set an alarm or something.” She sighed, sitting down.

“It’s quite alright. I’m just glad I didn’t see anything I wasn’t supposed to.” Liara grinned, pulling out a data pad from her small bag. “I just came to drop off a few things before I forgot. Your appointment is in a couple of days, and with James being here, I wasn’t sure if you still wanted me to go with you or not.”

Jane took the data pad, and glanced over it, before looking back up.

“I haven’t thought about it much, honestly. I’ll talk to him about it tonight and I’ll let you know for sure tomorrow.” 

“That’s reasonable.” She nodded, then leaning back some. “Now, I doubt I need to ask how James is doing.”

“Just fine.” Jane chuckled, “I probably didn’t do much to help the jet lag, but he has the rest of the week to catch up.”

“So he’s staying for the whole week?”

“Oh, like you didn’t already know.” Jane rolled her eyes, smiling. Liara gave a small laugh.

“Just making conversation.” She said, the conversation stalling for a moment. Then Jane remembered something.

“How is Kaidan doing?” her friend, and ex-boyfriend had been seeing each other for a while, and Jane was happy for them because they seem to fit together so well. There was no reason for her to be mad about it, because she was the one who had encouraged both of them when each of them had come to her, unsure if the other would be interested. Kaidan had casually mentioned it, like only he could, during one of their outings on shore leave. Liara, however, had called Jane into her quarters on the Normandy one afternoon. Jane honestly thought it was odd that Liara wouldn't have already known Kaidan was interested, judging by the fact that the conversation Jane had with him had been a week prior to the conversation with Liara. In the end, things worked out for the pair.

“He’s doing really well. I think he enjoys teaching at the biotic academy more than he enjoys going out on his missions, to be honest.”

“Kaidan's always been a huge softie.” Jane smiled, “But that’s good for him that he’s helping those kids. Especially after everything he went through.”

“I think that’s why he was asked to teach, if you don’t mind me saying. And I can’t think of anyone who could possibly care about those children more.”

“How old are they?”

“Between the ages of nine and thirteen, I believe. At least for now, he’s teaching a beginner’s class. He might take on one of the more advanced classes soon.” Liara said. Jane thought she could hear a bit of pride lacing her tone.

“I think I remember him telling me that when he called last week.” She nodded.

“When did he call you?” Liara looked genuinely surprised. Maybe she didn't keep tabs on him, since she was in a relationship with him.

“Last week.”

“Jane, you know what I mean.”

“I know.” She laughed, “He called me in the middle of the week in the afternoon. Kaidan was wondering if James would be interested in hanging out some time this week, and I told him I would make sure to ask. And we talked for a little bit after that.” She shrugged.

“Them hanging out would probably leave both of us alone, hm?”

“Very likely. Unless Kaidan wanted James and I to meet you at your new apartment.” Jane added, grinning.

“I’m impressed. You weren’t supposed to know about that.” Liara said with a soft smile.

“It doesn’t help when your boyfriend tells me just about everything on his own.” Jane shrugged. “But it’s not like I was going to stop him, he was so excited for the two of you. And I’m really excited for the both of you, as well.”

“Well, thank you…”

“But really, why wasn’t I supposed to know about this?”

“There’s no reason your birthday party can’t have a dual purpose, Jane.” Liara chuckled. Jane narrowed her eyes, smiling a bit.

“If you two get engaged tomorrow, or something, just remember I called it first.”

“As much as I wouldn’t mind that, I think that’s thinking a little far ahead for both of us.” 

Jane thought she could see Liara blushing as she looked down at her omni-tool. She had only been meaning to tease.

“I should probably get going, soon.” Liara sighed.

“Oh, before you go I have one quick question.” Jane shot her hand out to grasp Liars arm as she stood up.

“Yes?”

“It’s not too late to give Kaidan a birthday present, is it? Because I feel bad about not visiting, and I already got him something to give him tomorrow…”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that you remembered at all.” Liara hummed, pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow at your other apartment.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jane smiled as she went to show Liara out, shutting the door with a soft sigh.

She was dreading going to the other apartment she’d more or less inherited. It’s not that she didn’t like it, it was just that it felt too big for her to be living in alone. Though she smiled as she walked back towards the bedroom, remembering that she wouldn’t be alone much longer. She stood in the doorway, looking over James.

They were in a more solid relationship than just a few months ago, and Jane couldn’t even begin to express how much that meant to her, and what that did to her general mood. She really did love James, even if he was younger than her, because it honestly made no difference. It was his personality she was drawn to more than anything else. Though, he wasn’t hard on the eyes, either.

Jane crawled back into bed beside him, running her fingers through his short hair. He moved slightly into her hand, and let out a soft sigh as he woke up, looking over to her and smiling.

“Hey, Lola.” His voice was thick, and he rubbed his eyes as he sat up. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Liara just left.” She said, watching him stretch out and sit up. Her mouth felt a little dry at the moment, as she realized her jaw was slacking a bit. He chuckled and bent over to kiss her cheek.

“So everything’s alright?”

“Mhm. She just wanted to know if she needs to go with me to my appointment or not… I told her I’d say for sure tomorrow. And, this all depends on whether or not you want to go and feel comfortable with her there.”

“Remind me again what this one is for?” He rubbed the sleep from his face.

"It's just a check up for the baby. You know, make sure that there aren't any life-threatening conditions, or abnormalities." she paused and then glanced down at the sheets, smoothing out a wrinkle.

"What else?" he asked. Jane was still surprised he could pick up that she was leaving something out. But this was something that she'd been worried about for a while, actually.

"Liara told me that they should be able to determine the sex of the baby." she smiled. "I just don't know that it's something I really want to know. I mean... We don't know who this baby's going to turn out to be, as it is, so I don't know why we would, in a way, start making assumptions about them." She would have continued, but James put his hand over hers and kissed her forehead, silencing all the thoughts she had for just a moment.

"That's up to you. We can make that decision when we get there. Honestly, either way we're going to have a baby. We've decided this, and I'm happy enough just knowing that."

Jane nodded, and then let him pull her into a bear hug. For a while they stayed put in silence. The warmth surrounding her was more comforting than having all the answers to her worries. James knew she was worrying, too, but he managed to keep her calm, and focused on only what could be dealt with.

"Are you getting hungry?" she asked. It was nearing the time she usually ate dinner.

"I could eat something." he nodded. "Did you want to stay in, or go out?"

"I'd rather stay in, tonight. I had enough of the public going to get you, today." she grinned. He chuckled and nodded, shifting to stand up, searching for his clothes on the floor, knowing she would be watching him.

"Alright. What do you want to eat, then? I can cook for you tonight." he said as he managed to pull his pants on.

"Why don't you surprise me." she hummed as she stood up, grabbing his shirt from the floor and handing it over to him. "You know I love your cooking, anyway."

"I'll go see what I can whip up, then." he said as he gave her a soft kiss, brushing past her as he headed towards the kitchen, pulling his shirt on. 

She followed after him, and sat on the couch, turning on the news for some noise, if nothing else. She did watch it for a bit, before she heard some pots and pans being shuffled in the kitchen. Glancing back, she smiled at him, watching him through the cutout in the wall. As much as she thought she didn't suit the domestic life, James, with his hulking figure and scarred face, hardly looked like he belonged in this sort of life, either. But she knew that his personality was well suited for it, once he finally decided he'd had enough action. Jane wanted to walk over and wrap her arms around him, but she also wanted to eat. She could hug him later.

"It has only been 4 months since the end of the war, and it seems that facing near extinction has not stopped pirates from attacking." the news anchor said, drawing her attention back. "The most recent attack has been a Batarian colony in the Kite's Nest system. The attack left 38 dead, and over 60 injured. While the Batarians are desperate to revive their species, the colony remains strong. A source from the site of the attack sent us this picture of a message left by the pirates who attacked:" a photo of words on the side of a building, scrawled out in Universal appeared on the screen, " _ 'Your time has come to an end.'  _ Batarian and Citadel officials say that patrols around Batarian colonies will be increased, in hopes of preventing another attack."

"Damn..." James commented as he came from the kitchen, "I just don't get why people would even think of doing something like that right after everything we went through."

"Sometimes it's all a factor of how you grew up. There are kids that grew up on the streets, saw the violence, witnessed the war, and think that violence is all there is to life... And it sucks." Jane sighed, happening to glance down at her belly, running a hand over the bump.

"These aren't kids messing around, though."

"No, but... The same idea still applies, doesn't it? If someone was stealing money before or during the war, what's to stop them from doing it now?"

"You have a point there. Still, going after the Batarians is a bold move. These people want to commit genocide." he shook his head as he turned back to the kitchen.

Things were silent as the news moved on to the lighter topics like movie releases, concerts, shows, anything that would provide a distraction. Jane decided to change the channel, wanting to find a movie to watch, maybe. The news never really made anyone feel better about the way things were, but at least she made an attempt to be aware of things that were happening, and who was involved. It was just in her nature after so many years trying to get inside an enemy's head before attacking.

Then she began to smell wonderful things from the kitchen, and she walked over to see what was going on.

"I didn't know I had ingredients to make tacos." she smiled, glad that it sounded wonderful at the moment.

"I had to make a few substitutions, but it's edible and tastes pretty damn good.

- _ Three hours later _ -

Jane was nearly passed out on the couch, lying with her head in James' lap. Some dumb show was still going, but neither one was watching it, because they were both so focused on spending time with each other. She couldn't help but wonder, in her nearly-asleep state, what she and James would be doing right now, if she hadn't gotten pregnant. Or even if she hadn't called him, since she was quite hung up on that little detail, at the time. They'd barely spoken since he went off for training, and she didn't want to bother him, so she'd never called him. Jane always figured that he would call when he felt like it.

She took in a deep breath as his fingers continued combing through her hair, and she exhaled with a gentle hum as her eyes finally shut. Even if she couldn't see it, she knew James was smiling at her. A slight shift beneath her head caused her to open her eyes and lift her head slightly. But then, she realized he'd turned off the show, which left them in comfortable silence. She lowered her head again.

"You look ready to go to sleep." he said in a voice that she'd only heard a few times before. It was very serene, and quiet, like he was about to pour his heart out. That's usually when she heard this tone, and it was incredibly endearing to her.

"I'm sure that I could fall asleep easily if I went to bed." she replied, matching that same tone in his voice. He shifted again, and this time she felt a hand on her back. "James-"

"Come on, I won't be able to carry you this easy for a while, or at all." he smiled. "Just this once?"

"Fine." she kissed his cheek, letting him cradle her and take her to the bedroom. She was still in her clothes from earlier, but if she took off the jeans, she could sleep in the shirt no problem. That seemed like the quickest way to get to bed, so when James set her down, she was set on unbuttoning her jeans.

What she wasn't expecting was for James to put his hands on her waist, and kiss the top of her head. Jane nearly started to tear up at the sudden tenderness from him. He stepped back, smiling, and put his hands on the hem of her shirt.

"Will you let me undress you?"

"Okay." she nodded, not sure why he would want to. But she stood there, and lifted her arms as he brought the shirt over her head. He was leaning in for a kiss before she could even see, and by the time the shirt was falling to the floor, she felt his cracked lips pressing against hers and her arms seemed to move around his neck without a thought. It was all so natural, and she felt as though she were in a trance when he pressed one hand to her back and the other slid beneath the waist of her pants, nudging them to the floor. And for a few moments, she forgot where they were, or the fact that she was straining herself by standing on her toes just to reach him. That was going to hurt in a few hours, and likely through tomorrow.

James pulled away from the kiss and showered her in smaller ones all across her face. She giggled and leaned into him, pressing her face into his chest with a happy sigh.

“Come on, let's get you to bed.” he said quietly.

“James, I'm not sleeping without a shirt on.” she smiled, turning to reach into her dresser and pull out an old t-shirt that was surprisingly just big enough in her current shape. After she had it on, she turned and climbed into the bed, watching him undress himself before he threw on a pair of lounge pants, turned off the light, and got in beside her. Immediately she curled up against him, glad that he still didn't mind if she used him as a pillow. He pressed his lips to the top of her head once more before he turned on his side and wrapped both arms around her. It was strange that she could feel so safe and loved with just one pair of arms around her, pressing her into his chest.

At one point, she'd been able to press flush against him comfortably. That had only happened a couple of times, namely the last time they'd really seen each other before discovering that she was carrying his child. At the moment she almost wished she could lay with him like that, and tangle her limbs with his through the night. But then, she also began to smile at the fact that he carefully left a few inches between them, so that she could be comfortable, and not have to worry about the baby.

A pain shot through her hip, and she clutched to him, holding in a groan. He gave her a gentle nudge to roll over, and she did. His hand began massaging at her hip after a quiet question of where it hurt, and she whimpered slightly at first, feeling nothing but pain. His fingers dug in a bit more and she was relieved that the pain was beginning to ebb away slowly. She thanked him when it felt better, and he ran his hand up along her side a bit. It was then that he pulled her flush against him, getting swallowed up by the massive frame that was protecting her. Jane wasn't sure where that pain had come from, but so long as she felt better, sleeping was no issue for her.

For a few hours.


End file.
